One of the things I have vowed to do before I croak someday is to help you be yourself – in business, in relationships, in life. To find the truth and honor it. To make conscious choices that result in self-expression.
I feel strongly about this because it was one of my greatest struggles. I'm 46 years old, and it's still something I have to remind myself to do.
Like the way I hid my funny side in my business, afraid it wasn't “appropriate” to mesh my comedy writing and performance with mentoring people. Or the way I was afraid when I was a spiritual mentor that people would find out I enjoy drinking wine. (I have since come to understand that perfection, while impossible, also has nothing to do with whether or not a person tosses one back with dinner.)
I made decisions in my business that made me contract inside because they were what I thought people wanted from me. Yet, when I look back on my greatest successes, they stemmed from the times when I did my own thing. In fact, when I purchased a program to teach me a “6-figure solution” from a marketing guru, my results plummeted when I applied it. I discovered that my creativity and intuition were far more powerful than some cookie-cutter empty promise.
Pretending to be someone you're not is a lot of work. It also doesn't produce sustainable results.
Entrepreneurs make decisions that are out of alignment with who they really are for many reasons.
You may feel you're in too deep with a decision you made. Or you feel like you invested so much money with a concept, idea or mentor that you can't just say, “Sorry, this just isn't working, and it doesn't feel right to me. Next!”
Here are five ways you can align who you really are with your business goals, right here, right now:
1) As you consider various ideas and choices in your business, notice how you feel inside. Does pursuing the idea feel light and fun? Or does it make you crunch up inside, or feel heavy?
Light means yes, heavy means no. It's as easy as red light, green light. If you came up to an intersection and the light was red, would you put your foot on the gas? Or if it was green, would you slam on your brakes? Of course not.
By choosing ideas, mentors and purchases that feel light inside, you will choose a path that is aligned with your real self, and save yourself countless hours of frustration as you try to make something work that you knew didn't feel right in the first place.
2) Stop wanting other people to tell you what to do. While you may need someone to guide you, no one can ever possibly know what is best for you more than you can. Always honor your intuition and your desires. And stop turning your power over to other people.
3) Think bigger. The real you doesn't think small. That's just your fear-based ego, that sees life as a terrifying experience where every change can create annihilation. If you know you are thinking small, allow yourself to dream a little more.
What if it could be easy?
What if you could really have what you want?
Why not you?
What if being yourself completely is the way to be bigger?
4) Stop marketing in someone else's truth. This is a biggie. Just because something worked for someone else, doesn't mean it's right for you. For goodness, sake, don't copy what other people are doing. And before you purchase a “system” or “blueprint” to success, or hire a coach, ask yourself:
a) Does this person seem like me in personality, traits and talents?
b) Do we seem to value the same things?
c) When I look at the expected outcomes with a healthy dose of skepticism, do I still believe this person's promises?
d) Where does this approach fit in with what I truly want in three to five years?
One way to discover your truth is by finding your box on my Archetype Alignment Grid. Watch my webinar. It's free. Go for it.
5) Let go of the how. One of the biggest reasons people hold back on genuine self-expression is because they don't see how they could get to the end result. So, they end up choosing a “safe” route or doing what someone else tells them will work (which usually doesn't).
One time I needed to bring in $10,000 in just a few days' time to pay a tax bill. I had exhausted every idea I could think of to bring in clients, and nothing was working. No doubt they were feeling my desperate energy, since I was in a Striving and Wanting consciousness.
I was feeling a lot of pressure to pull a rabbit out of a hat. None of the ideas I tried felt right to me, but I thought they would be the most likely to bring in the money. When they didn't work, I felt like I had “blown it.” It was a Friday when I finally surrendered to my predicament. I cried the ugly cry, gave up, took a nap, and when I woke up, asked the divine to show me my next step. (I even asked if it could possibly be easy and fun, too.)
A thought popped in my mind of a former client and her great results. I went with it and asked myself what it might mean. I wrote an email to my subscribers outlining the success she achieved through a strategy I helped her develop. Then, I let it go. When I say I let it go, I mean I shut off my computer and went out to get a manicure!
I only received two responses. I knew the first person wasn't a good fit for my services. The second person's response came at the end of the day. We had a brief conversation the following Monday. I assessed her needs and offered what I felt was a great solution. She paid me $10,000 for a multi-day intensive. Her business needed something so much bigger than what I could conceive with the mindset I was in. She flew to Chicago and we tweaked her marketing strategy, built an online client pipeline based on the Alignment Grid, and she tapped into my highest creative abilities. I wrote copy for her on the spot. Best of all, it was FUN.
I had been caught up for weeks trying to offer what I thought would be the most likely thing to work, while the whole time, all I had to do was let go of the how and ask for some guidance.
When you give yourself permission to be yourself, and you honor your inner guidance, anything is possible.
Beth A. Grant is a writer, speaker, marketing strategist and thought leader who helps you be yourself in business, in love, in life. She blogs at www.truthandconsciousness.com
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