A Workaholics Guide to Friends
The biggest brag we workaholics have: We simply do not have the time.
(Yes, “brag”. Don’t even think of arguing with me on this.)
No time to play, no time to be creative. No time to hang with friends.
We say we want to spend time with them, but we are just soooo busy with this new project, or some task with an absolute deadline, or a new demanding boss (or an old demanding boss for that matter), or some other big thing that we have to do because, dang it, no one else can do it as well as we can.
We are so important, you see, in our own minds. No time for stuff like hanging out with good friends on a nice spring day.
When friends ask us to hang out with them, we often say “Sorry, I really really want to, but I can’t make it,” or worse we say “Yes” then cancel at the last minute because of some work emergency.
Before long, the invitations stop coming. We shrug and say “That’s fine; I’m too busy anyway.”
Then one day, a brick falls on our heads, and we realize what we’ve done. How much we’ve bungled our relationships. We look around and no one’s left in our corner.
We have to do something about this, we decide. But uhm, what do we do exactly?
No way around it, folks.
We have to put our tails between our legs.
We have to write that email, pick-up the phone, send a text. How ever we decide to do it, we just have to reach out and reconnect.
We will admit that we’ve fallen off the face of the earth. Own up that we are responsible for the state of affairs. Tell them we’ve been an all-work-boring-has-no-life-dud and we’re determined to kick the habit. Ask them if they’d please, please take us back.
Maybe, add another please to make sure they hear that we’re for real.
Some will be lukewarm initially upon our return. Well, what do we expect? Quite frankly, we’re a little unreliable and looking a bit flaky right now. We have to show them that we are not going to fall off the face of the earth again after they start letting us back in to their lives.
But the wonderful thing is, if we’re lucky, we’ll find that our true friends will open their arms and welcome us back. Oh, they’ll give us a hard time at first, but they will understand.
Our true friends will give us a hug and we’ll chat for hours and hours, and it’ll be like old times.
Our true friends will just be happy we’re still alive.
We’ll find we have missed them terribly and we’ll question ourselves why the heck we would rather work 16-hour days than spend a little time with them. Seriously. Work can never give us this rush, this camaraderie, this feeling that we belong.
Work can do wonders for our self-confidence and sense of achievement. But it can never make us feel loved. Only our friends and family can do that.
This article originally appeared in Workxycodone.
Lou Blaser, a recovering workaholic, explores and writes about rediscovering and reinventing ourselves, in pursuit of a full and balanced life. Please visit her at www.workxycodone.com.
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