So here I am, almost a week after successfully quitting my job after 15 years. I say ‘successfully' because I have no regrets about it.
Since then, I've been offered help. Now, don't get me wrong. I appreciate every single person that has offered to help me for this short period of time. But after being independent for so long, having my own money, paying my own bills, it's hard. It's REALLY hard. But what am I going to do in the interim? So I accept SOME help. I figure, it's a bonus for being the type of person I have been to people in my life…dependent, caring and helping.
Did I ever thing I would be in this situation? Not at all. I never thought I would have to wonder if I should keep my cell phone on. I never thought if I would have to choose whether my middle son would go to basketball camp this summer. I never thought I would have to ration anything for fear I would run out. I guess that's my downfall…I never thought. So I can't say that I'm at a crossroads yet, but I can see it looming up ahead. I haven't gotten to the point where I have to choose drastic situations, but I have started to tap into my ‘Vacation Savings Account'. I think of it like this. Imagine how much harder it would be if I didn't have that Savings Account! I find it hard to accept help because it makes me feel…needy. And that's not a feeling I like. So as I sit here thinking of everyone that has been so super nice to me in these past few days, I think to myself, ‘it may not be so bad accepting help. Everyone that knows me, knows that It won't be for long.'