I quit my job. After 15 years with this company, I couldn't take it anymore. Women weren't treated equal. I dealt with that. Being demeaned by someone that was only a few years older than you…been there done that also. But the straw that broke the camels back, was that I was unhappy and mostly, I missed my 1 year old son.
I'm what the doctor's called ‘Advanced Maternal Age'. In my mind that meant they felt I was too old and wanted to give this feeling a name and make it more palatable. I really didn't care what they called me. I had my Mason at 43 years old and I was ECSTATIC! My maternity leave was awesome and I enjoyed every single day home with my family. But I dreaded the thought of leaving them. I had two older sons and I guess because I had wanted a baby for so long after the older siblings, and being told that it could not happen, I had a certain ‘kinship' with Mason for the start. Leaving him was pure agony. Working for this company didn't ‘feel' right anymore. Now all of a sudden the things that didn't bother me too much (unequal treatment and being demeaned) started to really get to me.
Fast forward to a few days ago. After getting chewed out by his boss, my supervisor decided to go on a rampage. Little did he know my ‘wake up call' as he named it, was not what he THOUGHT it would be. I had fasted and prayed that God would show me what I was supposed to be doing and what I wasn't. After getting the email from my supervisor about more things that he made up and nit-picked than true events, I continued working. As clear as I can hear my baby talking to himself in the next room, I heard a voice that said ‘get up'. I stopped doing what I was doing, went into his office and simply said ‘I quit'.
The feeling of terror that I THOUGHT I would have, never came. I was eased of the stress and anxiety that I had begun to feel years earlier every time I would exit the elevator on the floor of my job. I walked out into the sun and felt for the first time in years working for this place…good. What am I going to do now? I don't know, but I DO know, that God is on my side and with his help, I am on the right path.