Have you ever felt that you were at the top of your game, really living your awesome, only to be defeated by the fact that everyone else seem to be at the top of their game too, and their game is way better than yours?
In this new age of information overload, it’s really easy to keep up with what our peers are doing, and even easier to allow comparison to be, as Theodore Roosevelt said, “the thief of our joy”. Even the most confident person feels, from time to time, that they are one of a million, when they really know they are one in a million.
I love what I do, and I know that I am good at helping people live their most awesome lives, but when I take a second and think about the fact that over 500,000 people are doing the exact same thing that I do, I start to question my effectiveness, my uniqueness. We all want to be unique, right? But just because our lives are so similar to the lives of others doesn’t mean that we aren’t. It’s just that we are blessed to be more connected and realize more of our similarities these days than we ever have been before.
Still, it sucks to feel lost in the crowd, lost in a sea of millions, especially when it comes to certain areas in our lives where we want and need to embrace the one IN a million mentality. The two biggest life sectors we all deal with this in are work and relationships.
Work. Standing out from the crowd is a must when it comes to getting a job, advancing in your career, or building your business. Applying for jobs, let’s face it, is awful. It is the epitome of the “must stand out” epidemic. If your resume is one of hundreds it can be hard to score an interview. Then, even if you get the interview, the whole extended process can be a blow to your ego, leaving you insecure, confused, and exhausted.
If you are trying to set yourself apart from your coworkers to get a promotion, you can feel competitive (in the ugly way, not the healthy way) and you can forget about your best assets. And when it comes to owning your own business, believe me, constantly feeling super secure in what you are providing to others can be difficult when you’re always hearing about someone else who may be doing it better.
So, what to do if you want to be one in a million again in your career?
- First and foremost, quiet the negative voices in your head that tell you that you are only and forever one of a million. You must re-center yourself in the truth: you are an individual and as such, you will always bring something unique to the table. No single person is totally alike.
- Ground yourself in your strengths. What makes you stand out? You’re great with people? Awesome. Because LOTS of people are great with people, dig even further and get to the heart of why exactly you are great with people: you’re great with people because you have learned and implemented effective listening strategies. You can do this with any and all strengths. It’s all about the way you position them, and sometimes, it’s as easy as the way you write them out:
- Strength: you are organized
- Stand-out strength: you love organizational strategies so much that you have designed unique systems at your current job and in your personal endeavors. This can be cemented with real and specific stories from your life.
- Same principals can be applied to getting promotions and branding your business. What are your strengths? What needs do you fill? What makes your process unique? We all have the ability to say things in a unique way and to live out our strengths.
Relationships. When you are searching for love, feeling like you are seen is important. You have to stand out to your potential mate. We all know that dating can feel like a rat race, with seemingly low numbers of decent people for everyone else to go after. It can feel like a numbers game and when your number isn’t picked, your confidence can take a huge hit. Feeling like one of a million (and the thought of having to search through millions of people to find your one) can be disheartening.
So, what to do if you want to be one in a million again in your search for relationships?
- Just as with your career, quiet the negative voices in your head that tell you that you are only and forever one of a million. You must re-center yourself in the truth: you are an AMAZING individual and as such, you will always bring something unique to any true relationship.
- As with careers, think about your strengths, but position it more with the awareness you have about what you LOVE about yourself. Write down a list of what you absolutely love about yourself. If this is hard, ask your friends to help you out. Ask them why they love you as a friend.
- Don’t focus on what you would change about yourself. Just as we are not all alike, no one is perfect and loves every single thing about themselves. However, confident people don’t focus as much on their negatives, instead putting their efforts in to radiating what they love about themselves to the world.
- Because relationships are a two-way dynamic, you must also think about standing out from others in what you want in a relationship. Just because your best friend married a sensitive guy doesn’t mean that that quality is an absolute for you. Again, go back to your friends. What do you love about them? Which relationships make you a better person? Come up with a list of qualities you most desire in a mate. Caution: this is not a list to judge every person you date. This list is more of a guide. Believe me, your potential partner will never have all of the qualities you think you need, but neither will you for them! Think about it: you have various friends for various reasons. There is no one perfect friend; same thing with mates. Our partners will never have everything on our check lists, so thank God for friends!
In my coaching practice, relationships are always a factor in peoples’ goals. I help people thrive confidently through life’s ups and downs and love is definitely a big one. That’s why I’m so excited to team up with my dear friend and peer coach, Suzanna Matthews, The Date Maven, to help you figure out how to embrace beingone in a million on your journey to finding true love. Suzanna and I can help you, or someone you know, embrace your stand-out self to create a successful and fun dating life.
Suzanna currently holds in-person events in Wichita, KS and I am starting to plan some fun mixers in the Kansas City area. Additionally, we both conduct individual sessions via Skype and phone. If you are interested in working with us or attending a future event, please email me: [email protected]
Career and relationships are the two biggest life sectors in which we can be suffocated with “one of a million-itus”, but they are not the only two. Feeling unremarkable is all too common these days, but with practice, we can turn around our thoughts and live “standing-out”.
Let’s continue the conversation in the comments. When in life do you feel like one of a million instead of one in a million? How do you want to become one in a million?
Rhonda Hale Warren is a life coach and personal brand consultant who helps people dominate life’s ups and downs through powerful, personal brands. A firm believer in strengths-based living, she helps people live their “awesome” with authentic confidence. Connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Contact her directly via her website: www.rhondahw.com
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