It was a few years ago now but I remember it like it was yesterday. I was showering and as we are all taught to do, I was doing my regular check for anything irregular and there it was. I felt around for ages hoping I was imaging things but no, there was definitely a lump there that I hadn't felt before.
Panic set in, I started to shake and every emotion you could think of rushed through me. All of a sudden I had what seemed like millions of conversations going on in my head.
“Right, don't worry just get it checked out”
“But what if it is” ( I couldn't even allow myself to think the word let alone say it)
“No it can't be”
“But what if it is”
I stayed in the shower for what seemed like hours (probably only a few minutes). Maybe I thought if I stayed there it would just wash away. I really don't know what was going through my head but getting out of the shower meant I had to do something about it.
I said nothing to anyone. My head was spinning all day, I couldn't focus on anything or anyone, I was totally incapable of doing my job, I just wanted to go home and hide under the duvet.
I didn't sleep much that night and still I said nothing to my husband. It was like if I said it out loud it made it more real.
Next morning the lump had grown to the size of a grape and it was sore. I felt relief that it was sore. I was sure I had read somewhere that the other type of lump wasn't sore so surely this must be a good thing?
I had another day pretty much like the last, didn't talk to anyone and hid inside my shell. Kept telling myself that it would be okay, after all it was sore. It wouldn't be sore if it was .. you know..
That night I got into bed. My head hurt and I was really couldn't think straight. Eventually my husband asked what was wrong.
I started to cry… well it was a bit like a waterfall actually, once I started I couldn't stop. He waited patiently for me to gather myself together and then I told him. Obviously he was devastated – he aged about 10 years in that 10 seconds. But he is a practical person and soon took control and made me see that I had no option but to get this checked out.
Another sleepless night passed and the next morning the lump was about the size of a small egg and was so painful I could hardly lift my arm. By then I was so tired and worn out that I didn't have the energy to object to my husband ringing the doctor – he got me an appointment that morning.
I was absolutely terrified. I was too young. I didn't want to leave my kids, who would look after them? Their dad was in America. Why me? I am fussy about what I eat, I don't smoke, I drink the odd glass of wine, I exercise a little (probably not enough). I really tried to live a good clean life.
I thought of my mum. I had lost her to bone cancer which I always believed was caused by stress (my dad had been ill for many years and she was sole carer). Maybe that was it – my job was fairly stressful. What on earth was I doing in a stressful job – I know what stress can do!
Within an hour I had been seen by the doctor and had an appointment with the consultant at the hospital that afternoon. The doctor was quite reassuring but didn't say too much.
I was lucky, I had private medical insurance through my job so I didn't have to wait.
Well, I can't describe to you the relief that I felt when the consultant confirmed it was a breast cyst and not the big C! The cyst was drained in a matter of minutes and it was all over. That was less painful than the mental torture I had gone through. I cried and laughed all at the same time and felt so weak as the relief flowed through me.
The one thing that stuck with me though was that my consultant had asked me about the deodorant I used and recommended that I look for a deodorant that did not contain aluminium based compounds as, although no scientific proof exists, there had been evidence of traces of this in cancers that had been removed.
This was the start of my journey and I wanted to know what was in other products I used – I wanted these to be as natural as possible and give myself the best possible chance of remaining C-free for as long as I live.
So I studied natural products for 2 years and (after attending many courses in London) started to make my own products using Aloe Vera but although they were great, they were expensive. My next move was to find someone who produced natural products that would meet my needs.
I was recommended by a friend to try a particular deodorant. It was the most natural deodorant we could find and was just as effective as other deodorants I had used. I really liked it and felt good about using something that “might” help keep me C-free.
As a natural progression I started to use other natural products from the same range. Most of these products are based on pure aloe gel which has a compound that allows the aloe to be absorbed more deeply into the skin and tissues where it will do the most good. This also means that anything else in the product (i.e.antioxidants vitamins, minerals etc) will also be better absorbed by the body. I have to say that my skin, hair and teeth have never been in better condition. Digestive problems I had suffered with have been reduced by around 90%. I no longer suffer so much with arthritis in my fingers – this used to be so painful in the winter it was agony. I have more energy, I sleep much better than I used to, my immune system is stronger (I haven't had so much as a sniffle in the last 18 months) and I have managed to lose that additional stone in weight I had been carrying around for years.
I am in great health today and for that reason I joined the company whose products I had been using. I have made some great new friends, I can afford the products (which I have to say aren't the cheapest on the market but are the most effective ones I could find) as I get a fabulous discount having joined the company, but most of all I have a way to help others suffering with these types of problems and more.
I know that sometimes it is outside of our control and no matter what we do to keep ourselves free of disease it might end up that it still happens BUT if I do end up with something nasty I want to be able to say that at least I did everything possible to prevent it. How would I feel if all I could say is… I wish I had done something.
Thank you to my company and thank you to the wonderful Aloe Vera plant without which we wouldn't have these fantastic products. Mother Nature really does know best!
I would urge anyone who is worried about anything that they are not sure of – please, please do not wait – go and get it sorted NOW!
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