For the past eight weeks I have felt like I was in, what can only be described as limbo (and sadly not the fun, flexibility dance). At first, I would have called this period in my life, “moving is what happens in hell”, but after thinking about it for a few weeks, I know this is a better definition:
limbo [lim-boh]; noun
1. a region or border of heaven or hell
2. a place or state of oblivion
3. an intermediate, transitional, or midway state or place
Yes, this sums it up. In the past weeks, I moved with the hubs to a new city and have had quite the adventure (overwhelming set of obstacles?) along the way. Not going to lie, we’ve had our fair share of “sucks” these past eight weeks like dogs not-really-adjusting to apartment life, car troubles, broken items, and a small run-in to a cement pole, with my car (not my head thankfully).
But the worst thing has been the actual preparing for the move, waiting for the move, and recovering from the move; I feel stuck in constant state of transition that will not go away. I mean, who really wants to be in transition?
We humans hate change and since transitions are the long roads in between life’s changes = just as bad.
I wrote earlier about the disaster that was my initial reaction to making this move, but I must say that the aftermath of it hasn’t been easy either. We all can find the same feelings when transitioning between relationships, jobs, houses, and even personal goals. I’m sure you can think of a time when you felt the dreaded “in between”, even if it came with a good change. The high of a new job can be thrilling, but anticipation can be stressful and there is usually a trying adjustment period after.
Limbo is a part of life, but just because we all go through it, doesn’t make it easier. So what to do?
How to thrive through limbo:
Do something you love each day. This is a sanity preserver. Every day was another rut, another set of annoying obstacles, until I realized that I wasn’t even really living my best. I finally drew on my love of actually talking to human beings face-to-face to get me through this frustrating time. I had coffee and lunch dates with new contacts and old friends to keep my energy flowing and to remind me of the momentum that comes (to me) from the energy of connecting with others. Perhaps you gravitate towards writing, or maybe exercising, or you get the biggest high from giving your time to serve others. Whatever your love is, make sure you do it every single day throughout your limbo.
Get your zzz’s. Anxiety, nerves, and new changes can keep our minds spinning at an accelerated speed, which can be beyond exhausting. Prioritizing sleep not only helps reenergize your entire body to be able to face whatever limbo might throw at you, but it will also keep anxiety and stress at bay.
Do not give the limbo too much energy. For the first few days of the move, I totally let limbo get the better of me. I focused only on the changes, obstacles, logistical nightmares, and all of the stress surrounding them. I gave in to the energy of the “in between” instead of focusing on the potential good and even more importantly, the present good. Which brings me to…
Remain grateful. How easy is it to forget to focus on what you are thankful for/what is going right when you feel “in between”? Focusing on the struggles is way easier. I became so overwhelmed with the changes and the obstacles during this move that I lost out on a lot of time and energy that could have attracted the positive. Your perspective creates your reality, thus focusing on the good, brings more good. Conversely, being consumed with the obstacles only creates more obstacles. Once I started focusing on what was going right, the good times continued and the gloom subsided.
Remember that “this too shall pass”. I called a girlfriend the other day and said, “you know, I realize that I’m overwhelmed with anxiety about my dogs whining and barking every time we leave the apartment, but I’m pretty sure that you and I will be laughing about this in a few weeks.” Life is a roller coaster; all of the downs come with lots of ups. Just because things aren’t going your way today, doesn’t mean that something amazeballs won’t happen tomorrow. This is simply the game of life. Limbo is the perfect time to find solace in the fact that time, itself, is fleeting.
Fact: there will always be peaks and valleys in life; limbo is a natural part of the journey. But you don’t have to simply “get through” it. You can thrive through it with simple, energy-gaining actions.
Let’s continue the conversation in the comments. I want to know:
-When was the last time you’ve been in limbo?
-How did you handle it? (Or did you?)
-What experiences did you take away from living in the “in between”?
Rhonda Hale Warren is a life coach and personal brand consultant who helps people live their AWESOME through all of life’s transitions. Connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. Contact her directly at via her website: www.rhondahw.com
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