Often I wonder what’s wrong with me, why I’m always hungry (not just for food), why I’m always looking for bigger, better, greater, what’s next in my life, and why in the hell am I not married with 3 children living a normal life? Life’s agonizing questions.
Normal – an expectant pattern of behavior or conformance to the average. Always craving that which so clearly isn’t me and an ongoing search for self –acceptance.
My grade 5 primary school teacher Mrs. Merriman once told me touch typing ‘is the greatest skill a girl can have’. What sweet advice for a young girl looking to pursue an affluent, ambitious and male- dominated career.
It’s through these so -called intellectual, soul searching and truth- finding reflections we all hope to become graduates in our own degree of life.
So how (and when) do we graduate from life? And how many of these stories do we need to recall before we finally receive the certificate, with a pretty graduation photo?
I believe an ability to conclusively answer each of these questions correlates strongly to the ‘norm’, a world where there’s an answer to everything.
If we look at the same questions and answer it with another – How long is a piece of string? We now begin the process of Enquiry – the ultimate practice toward self – mastery.
So if you know deep down that normal represents mediocrity, you need not worry about society’s required conformance, and instead embrace the differences of being ‘abnormal’ – the ‘new black’ in the fashion of life.
Here are some key themes to take away in your pursuit toward being abnormal, or in society’s terms – self – mastered.
Be a Leader of Your Life
Sounds cheesy doesn’t it. But see past the cheesiness it could well leave you feeling empowered. We always admire great leaders of history, those who created phenomenal change by speaking through the filter of their own personal values. So why can’t you do the same?
Stand up for your values, your beliefs and what rings true to your hearts desire. Take ownership and be accountable to the life you’ve always wanted. This requires courage, but feel the fear and do it anyway. It’s really that simple!
Develop the personal power required to be a change agent and move yourself forward. Demonstrate compassion and be fiercely loyal to the inner person you serve, and watch how your actions will honor you.
Create a Personal Contract
In business we create a contract as a mutually beneficial exchange, or commitment, generally in exchange for money, goods or services.
Would you buy a house without a contract? Would you accept a job without a contract? So how do you accept your ideal life without a specified, exacting commitment to how it’s all going to unfold?
Life will give you everything you need, it will shower you with the abundance it contains, but you need to commit and specify the conditions. A well – developed contract in business will ultimately define success. Develop one for your life to match your personal pillars, and you too will be successful. Write it, Define it and Sign It!
Stop being a Perfectionist
Living in the bubble of perfectionism will stunt your growth (not literally, smoking usually does that). Perfectionism is striving toward the perception of someone else’s reality. It’s a benchmark or cornerstone of society’s ideals.
We become perfectionists in a quest for being fully self expressed through our passions and pursuits:- art, fashion, writing, motherhood, career, sport, cooking, love, being the perfect friend.
Self -expressed and Perfectionism are not mutually exclusive, and belong in two separate universal categories. The sooner we realize that, the more self expressed we actually become, and the quicker we evolve (and the less stress we bear, phew perfectionism is tiring!)
Living large to your full potential is a condition and contract on your life, and not an agreement you make against societal norms. It is in your power to create your own norm, and if that looks abnormal to others, then you’re probably on the right path…
Anyone who craves adventure, more of the good (and less of the bad), ambition, soul definition and a higher order, understand you’re not the only one who thinks they’re abnormal. And it’s just another one of life’s many disorders, treatable by just being self -expressed, compassionate and courageous.
Ana is a Coach, Consultant & Speaker. She works with individuals & groups to align consciousness with innovation, leadership and social responsibility. Also an athlete, Ana has played sport across most continents. She's President/Co-Founder of a social impact program in Guinea West Africa, and is an advocate for young women and children aspiring to dream.