Just like that, the rug of routine was ripped from beneath me and I was searching for a sense of value that I married to commuting to an office Monday thru Friday and sometimes on the weekends. All of a sudden, I realized that those morning conversations over coffee or lunchtime chats at the microwave were no more. For a very brief moment, it settled on my psyche that I would not commute in that direction in traffic to that office at that time for any reason again. They broke up with me and the relationship was over.
Breaking up is hard to do
When one speaks of grief it’s usually affiliated with the loss of a person or pet, but it is very real to grief the loss of employment. Unless you’re powered by a battery in your back, you made personal relationships, shared moments or simply became adjusted to seeing the same people on a regular basis. How could they? How could they tell you that you exhausted your contribution to the team and were no longer needed? How can they simply dismiss you as if your time spent was only equal to the box of scattered paper clips, a stapler and a few post-it notes? Some nerve they have right. Guess what breaking up is hard, especially when you’re the one being broken up with, BUT “breaking on” is your opportunity. “Breaking on” requires you to turn off cruise control, pull out a map and figure out what road is next. “Breaking on” mandates you to excavate your passion and purpose and pursuit of happiness. Lastly, “breaking on” is a rearview mirror that allows you to revisit the good, bad and ugly of your past relationship and truly evaluate if your time of happy was over well before you got the memo that they just weren’t into you anymore.
Life After A Layoff: On to the next one
So they broke up with you? And you are sad. Every moment you give your sadness you lose a moment of happy. Take the lessons learned, cherish the good times and move on. It is imperative for your spiritual and social self that you release the hurt, disappointment and prepare for your next adventure. While these things take time, it took me almost 6 months, I find myself productive and not bitter because I chose to let the relationship go. You may not realize it, but you take the anger with you in your personal relationships or on coffee catch-ups with potential employers or people in your network. Although, you have practiced your extended elevator pitch and proceed with the illusion that you are good, they can see through the act and recognize the fury in your eyes. The ONLY way to rid yourself of these feelings is to accept what has happened and move forward to the next one. Until you make the conscious decision that the break up is real and the relationship is done, you will find yourself stalking your ex and that makes no room for the new relationship right. They say you can’t move on to a new relationship until you’ve closed the door on the last one. So there, it’s perfectly fine to say goodbye and prepare for the new hello.
“One of the best times for figuring out who you are and what you really want out of life? Right after a break-up.” – Mandy Hale
Jai Ferrell is a former corporate entertainment marketing executive turned self appointed social scientist commencing an experiment via Corporate & Unemployed. CorporateandUnemployed.com a social blog chronicling the journey to entrepreneurship or something like it in life after living a career.
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