Change Your Life
There is a great article floating around the internet called 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself by Marc Chernoff. It lists 30 habits of thought and action that suck your energy and leave you feeling unfulfilled. Since a negative command can be a bit tricky on the brain — some research suggests the mind does not register a negative and “STOP doing that” is not as effective as “START doing this!” — I reframed them into a list of actions to green light in your life. ENJOY:
Positive Things To Do
1. Start spending the time with the RIGHT people – Surround yourself by people who inspire, challenge, value, love, and appreciate you! Also, be with the ones who make you work harder and raise your game.2. Start facing your problems – The first step is just acknowledging something is not right and needs an adjustment or solution. No sense in sweeping anything under rug! We all know that is just a temporary fix, so get in there and mix it up with whatever is not in alignment and do something to make it better.3. Start being honest with yourself – Love the author’s suggestion to read The Road Less Traveled. The only one who knows how you really feel, what you really think, your needs, what is working and what is not is YOU.4. Put your own needs on the FRONT burner – Oooh, I love this one! This is a toughy, especially being a strong believer in doing service. But what it comes down to is honoring your own self care and priorities so you CAN be available to others.5. Be yourself – Any other options? Didn’t think so.
6. Live in the moment – We all have stories about our past but they are just that, stories. The most powerful thing you have on any given day is the moment you are in, so plant and be where your feet are.
7. Feel free to fail – That’s right! Know that mistakes are going to happen, you have a right to be imperfect and one of the best ways to succeed is to fail miserably, correct, then kick ass.
8. Practice self-forgiveness – You did this but “should’ve” done that. Years spent in a certain relationship, career, addiction, negativity, shitty health, fear – the bottom line is, it is all okay. You cannot really move on until you forgive yourself for being human.
9. Buy groceries not happiness – There are certain things money can buy. Like organic grapefruits. Other things, notsomuch. Like happiness! Happiness is one of those states of mind which don’t have a price tag. Certain things create sensation of joy, passion, love, pleasure, but HAPPINESS, that is a certain place inside you, accessible by choice.
10. Look to yourself for happiness – It is not going to come from someone else. Not the soulmate, career changer, guru or family member who finally stops nagging you on the holidays. All these people can be appreciated but are not IT.
11. Get moving! Don’t think I have to tell you this one :)
12. Believe you are ready now. This is a great one to practice every day. I'm not saying you are ready to go in and perform open heart surgery without med school but probably there are things you are STILL putting off bc you don't think you're ready when in reality, you ARE.
13. Get involved in healthy relationships for the right reason. If you are looking for someone to save, fix, complete, or solve any emptiness in your heart that is NOT the right reason to be with someone! If you are looking for someone with whom to share your happiness, love, abundance, pleasure, joy and various highs/lows of life's journey while maintaining your own sense of self, that is the RIGHT reason to be with someone! :drops the mic:
14. Be open to new relationships even if old ones didn’t work. Any previous relationships are just driftwood, lily pads, stepping stones, a little piece of patchwork on the soccer ball of life. Be thankful for every moment.
15. Compete with yourself. You will save a lot of energy if you only seek to be YOUR BEST SELF every moment of every day.
16. Be inspired instead of green eyed. If someone else is manifesting their greatness, let that be a source of inspiration and motivation. If jealousy grabs you by the you know what, notice it and then make a shift. Life is too short to be bitter.
17. Get off the pity pot. Self pity and complaints, as far as I am concerned, are the like kryptonite on steroids. They suck energy and then, worse, attract the kind of people who like to join the pity party, so all that’s being created is an energy ball of negativity. Walk away from that behavior and anybody who brings it out in you.
18. Let go of grudges. Sometimes it’s fun to make a list of all the people you are still pissed at and why, then see that most if not all of it is ridiculous.
19. Rise to the level you deserve. Not everybody shares the same standards and this can be difficult to accept. When you begin to dictate to yourself what you need and what you are worth, you will attract the people who appreciate your value.
20. Follow your heart. No need to explain yourself and your choices to other people. Just be you.
21. Give yourself a break! I know this one is also hard for us pound the pavement NYC types. :) But, we all know that we are human beings not human doings, so attempts to go-go-go without a break will lead to a loss of perspective. Breathe.
22. See the beauty of the small moments. Last night I was walking home and within 5 seconds saw a rat and cockroach on the street. And I swear, I had this moment where I smiled and said, Ahh, NYC. Thanks for being true to you. And THAT is what it is about. NYC will always have rats and roaches, it is what it is and if you can find the beauty in that rightness, you can find the beauty in anything.
23. Accept your imperfections. The world is full of flaws and so are you, truly. It makes you exquisite.
24. Be extraordinary. There are no shortcuts on the path to extraordinary.
25. Be real. If it’s not fine, don’t say it is. If it’s not okay, don’t say it is. If you don’t feel good, don’t fake it! Be real, be real, be real.
26. Take responsibility. I will quote the article directly “The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for our life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.”
27. Keep your focus on the important people who matter. This is about letting go of being all over the place or “trying to be all things to all people.” Just keep the focus on your commitments and people in your circles of choice.
28. Chill out. Worry is like praying for what you don’t want. Worry is a rocking chair that goes back and forth and back and forth and gets you nowhere. Worry is a wart on the face of hope. ENTER YOUR FAVORITE SLOGAN HERE.
29. Focus on what you WANT to happen. You have energy and you have a brain. You can spend your energy projecting negative outcomes OR you can put your focus on what you WANT to happen. You can visualize it to the extent that it feels real, the details, the people, all of it. It is just a choice of where you want to put your attention.
30. BE GRATEFUL. Super duper closer here! Every day I email 10 things I am grateful for and I swear it’s helped me orient myself towards appreciation. There are so many reasons to be grateful and when you call up your gratitude, your heart opens, you soften, you become more of who you really are AND into your lap will fall even more things to appreciate.
And finally, eat more apples. That's my addition. Because apples are awesome.