“Today, I will have no competition or comparison. I will simply be me, and that is enough.” -Unknown
It's safe to say that I was never meant to be anyone other than myself. So, what was with this business of comparing myself to someone else?
Honestly? Sometimes it made me feel better about myself but more often than not I felt worse. It may seem obvious, but one of the most challenging things for me to grasp was the internal damage done to ourselves through comparison. By comparing ourselves to others, we diminish the light that allows us to shine the brightest and be the best at the only thing that truly matters; being ourselves.
There is no person who can smile like you, no person who can light up the room with your laugh nor is there anyone who can replicate the beautiful thing that happens when you put your heart to something. We all feel the pull of our imperfections from time to time, but just remember that the only person who can ever go the furthest in your life, is you.
What is one of the most important steps that I take to stop comparing myself to others?
Get to the heart of the matter. Identify and acknowledge specifically what it is that causes you to compare yourself to others. Are you afraid that you will not be appreciated and accepted as you are? Has someone repeatedly told you that you were not as good as someone else? Is comparison a tool that you use to justify your current state (i.e. I'll never be as successful as her because… )?
By acknowledging and addressing these vulnerabilities, you allow yourself to heal.
When I read statuses on Facebook or run into old friends, I begin comparing myself to others and it can easily get me down. How can I change this?
Recognize and remind yourself that you have your own unique path to follow. Your happiness is not created nor determined by someone else's journey, it's determined by yours. Each bend in the road, every break down and every triumph has shaped you into the person you are today. Never let anyone take that wisdom, strength and courage from you through comparison. Send them a blessing for their happiness and shine at the one thing they can never do –being you.
How can I identify the good things about me?
When you are caught up in the comparison game it's hard to see how valuable you are as a person because you shadow your own assets with another's achievements. Here are two ways that you can jump-start the internal conversation of why you rock:
- Think about your life 5 years ago and your life right now. What are three things that you can do today that you were unable to do before?
- List out at minimum three things that you are good at. Think about what you are passionate about, or think of the times when you received positive feedback and gratitude from others
Celebrate these strengths and review how you can apply them to your life on grander scale for a more fulfilling existence.
A fashion stylist and former women's fit technologist, author Lakeysha-Marie Green utilizes her experience in the fashion industry combined with her personal journey to self-discovery to help women transform their appearance from the inside out. Preview her book, The Seeds of Beauty, which tells an inspiring story of restoring unconditional self-love and genuinely radiating your beauty from within, here.