It might be a good time to perform an autopsy on your previous relationships. Figure out the cause of death. Look at things honestly. Learn from your mistakes. This is where keeping a journal comes in handy. Many of us have selective memory.
Remember that you are 50% of a relationship. Own up to your behavior and remember your decisions have consequences and you need to take responsibility for them. Always choose “Better” when it comes to your decisions.
Be yourself! Yes. We live in a judgmental society but who cares! Do not let anyone tell you who you’re supposed to be. Trying to be someone else will not work in a lasting relationship. Again…be yourself.
Remember the following: “Thoughts become words. Words become actions.” Do not program yourself for failure with negative thoughts. If you keep telling yourself that you are a “freak magnet” then chances are you will be a freak magnet. Change your internal dialogue for the positive. It may take practice but well worth the effort!
Predetermined beliefs are a funny thing. They need to be disposed of. Every situation is different. All people are different. To prejudge or have a predetermined outlook will not be to your advantage. In other words? Be open-minded.
Do not change to accommodate someone. Long story short: It will bite you in the rear. But do have a broad range of who you are.
I hesitate to suggest trying to figure out what kind of a person you are looking for. So often we may think we know what we want and go after it when it may not be what’s in store for us at all. Again…be open-minded.
Only 7% of communication is verbal. For every thought you have, there’s a physiological reaction. Become aware of the signals you are sending out. Desperation, for example, comes through in non-verbal communication.
Recognize that you don’t have to be in a relationship to be whole. It is better to be happy alone than sick with someone else. The most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself. (This is my personal favorite)
Don’t put pressure on yourself. You don’t have to be married. It’s not required. Stop telling yourself you have to get a ring on your finger.
Are you available? Look at your life and ask yourself if you’re leaving time to meet someone. Would someone have to throw himself on the hood of your car to cross paths with you and get your attention? (This actually happened to me once a long time ago…uh, Sonny?)
Don’t act desperate. Send a message that you “want to” be in a relationship “not that you’ve “got to.”