4 proven methods to deepen self-trust (and stop eating yourself alive)

4-proven-methods-to-deepen-self-trust-and-stop-eating-yourself-alive

No other woman on the planet has your same gifts.

Your perspective.
Your combination of skill and intuition.
Your drive.

But here’s the thing about your gifts. They don’t belong to you. At least, not to you only. They’re meant to be shared so others can benefit.

To do that, you’ve got to get out of your own way.

You know what I mean. You know the ways you hold yourself back. The hesitating. Second-guessing. Doubting. Eating yourself alive with worry about what’s at risk and what to do next. Questioning if you really have something to offer.

These behaviors – doubting and second-guessing – do not serve you.

To really put yourself out there – to give at the level you’re capable of giving – you’ve got to learn to trust yourself.

Look, I know that’s not always easy. I’ve owned my own business for 25 years. I’ve had my fair share of doubts and rounds of disbelief. When it comes to keeping self-trust alive, entrepreneurship is trial by fire.

Here are strategies I use – and you can use – to strengthen trust when you’re feeling vulnerable:

Honor your lived experience.

Life has made you an expert in life.

Do you trust this expertise? Do you tap into it?

Back in grad school, I wrote my first paper and let it sit in a sealed envelope on my counter for two weeks. Understand, this was before the days of email. I was too scared to send it in. Why?

Because I was one of the youngest in my class.

Because I was in the doctoral program, when I’d only planned for a master’s.

Because I’d gone out on a limb with my research – tapping into a very personal aspect of my upbringing.

I was terrified I’d be ‘found out’ as out of my league.

Eventually, I ran out of time to stall and submitted the paper, absolutely certain the professor would have nothing good to say about it. Guess what?

I was wrong. She loved my paper because it was unconventional.

While she praised the academic rigor and my management of research protocol, what really got her excited was how I’d authentically brought my own lived experience with the subject matter into the paper. My subject matter?

Adult children of alcoholics. Talk about trusting yourself enough to put yourself out there.

Consider, what do you have to leverage? What nugget of personal growth might you be dismissing or hiding away that is ready to be tapped? It doesn’t have to be deeply personal or controversial. Just honest. A simple representation of you.

Honor your lived experience. Trust it. Use it to serve others. Have faith that they will benefit from your journey.

Give yourself permission to be a working draft.

Perfectionism undermines trust. It holds you back. It sets you up to doubt your every decision.

Besides, it’s a myth.

There is no perfect.
There is only created and offered in the spirit to serve.

Take this blog post. Right now, I’m doing my best to write messages what will help you break through to deeper self-trust. I’m culling for strong metaphors. Vivid language. Compelling examples.

If I spent more time, could I do better? Of course. Is my innate predisposition to hold on to this piece – reworking, refining, and polishing? You bet.

But, I’ve got a deadline. If I sit on the piece because my writing’s not perfect, I’ll miss my chance to share anything with you.

And I want to share. Just as you do.

So, share! Let go of perfection and expand your opportunity to use your gifts. Allow yourself to be human. Create an environment that supports imperfection. Embrace imperfection and the room it provides you to grow.

Unleash your ability to actually do what you most want to do.

Ease up on yourself by asking:

Where might I be putting pressure on myself that others aren’t?
Where am I expecting perfection, while others just want progress?

Often, the rougher the draft the more valuable the feedback. Support yourself to be a work in progress. Trust in your ability to always learn and grow. And also – to be good enough right now to give what you truly have to offer.

Ask for support when you need it.

For 25 years, I’ve supported top-flight leaders to strengthen their trustworthiness. Across the board, the mistake they share?

Not asking for help when they need it.

Many of us struggle to reach out for support when we hit a wall. We assume other people are too busy. That we’ll impose. The truth?

When we make assumptions about what others may or may not be willing to give, we not only rob ourselves of their gifts, we rob them of the joy and satisfaction of giving.

Think about that.

Don’t you appreciate the opportunity to lift others up? To help them stretch and deepen their contribution?

Of course you do. We all do. Ease open your fiercely independent mindset and consider:

How might your request for support actually be supporting the other person’s development as a leader…as a person?

You don’t have to go it alone. None of us do. Anyone who has ever accomplished anything meaningful has only done so with help. What you want to accomplish is bigger than you.

You deserve to be supported to bring your gifts to the world.


Dr. Michelle Reina is co-founder of Reina, A Trust Building® Consultancy, a global firm specializing in transforming workplaces through trust.

Share small business news, blogs and social media tips with Project Eve’s community of small business owners and entrepreneurs today. Our contributors come from a wide range of backgrounds; so whether you are a small business owner, social media strategist, financial adviser, serial entrepreneur, or write an amateur blog we urge you to contribute a blog to our 500,000+ community today. For more information, please refer to our Content Submissions Guidelines.

113 COMMENTS

  1. 739428 510198This kind of publish appears to get yourself lots of visitors. How will you acquire traffic to that? It provides a great special twist upon issues. I guess having something traditional or maybe substantial to give information on will be the central aspect. 474594

  2. Hello! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely glad I found it and I’ll be bookmarking and checking back often!

  3. Hi there. I found your site by the use of Google while looking for a comparable topic, your website came up. It appears good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back later.

  4. Good post. I study something more difficult on completely different blogs everyday. It should all the time be stimulating to learn content from other writers and apply slightly one thing from their store. I’d prefer to use some with the content material on my blog whether you don’t mind. Natually I’ll give you a hyperlink on your net blog. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Of course I like your website, however you need to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I find it very troublesome to tell you. However I will surely come again again!

  6. I would like to thnkx for the efforts you have put in writing this blog. I’m hoping the same high-grade website post from you in the upcoming as well. In fact your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own site now. Actually the blogging is spreading its wings quickly. Your write up is a good example of it.

  7. Heya i am for the primary time here. I came across this board and I to find It truly useful & it helped me out much. I’m hoping to give one thing back and help others like you helped me.

  8. Great work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher! Come on over and visit my web site . Thanks =)

  9. Hello there, I think your blog might be having
    browser compatibility problems. Whenever I take a look at your web site
    in Safari, it looks fine however when opening in I.E.,
    it has some overlapping issues. I simply wanted to provide you with a quick heads up!

    Apart from that, great blog!

  10. You can definitely see your enthusiasm in the paintings you write. The sector hopes for more passionate writers like you who aren’t afraid to say how they believe. All the time go after your heart.

  11. Please let me know if you’re looking for a article author for your
    blog. You have some really great posts and I believe I would be a good asset.
    If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d absolutely love to write some articles for your blog in exchange for a
    link back to mine. Please send me an e-mail if interested.
    Thanks!

  12. Superb blog you have here but I was wanting to know if you knew of
    any forums that cover the same topics talked about here?
    I’d really like to be a part of group where I can get feed-back from other experienced individuals that share the same interest.
    If you have any recommendations, please let
    me know. Cheers!

  13. Hey there, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues.
    When I look at your blog in Chrome, it looks fine but when opening in Internet
    Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up!
    Other then that, great blog!

  14. I also believe that mesothelioma cancer is a extraordinary form of cancers that is normally found in those previously exposed to asbestos. Cancerous tissue form inside mesothelium, which is a shielding lining which covers a lot of the body’s organs. These cells ordinarily form from the lining from the lungs, tummy, or the sac that really encircles one’s heart. Thanks for giving your ideas.

  15. Hi there, I discovered your blog by way of Google whilst searching for a comparable subject, your website came up, it appears great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

  16. Thanks for this excellent article. One other thing is that almost all digital cameras can come equipped with a zoom lens so that more or less of that scene to be included by means of ‘zooming’ in and out. These kind of changes in the aim length are usually reflected in the viewfinder and on significant display screen right on the back of the very camera.

  17. After looking at a handful of the articles on your web page, I honestly like your way of writing a blog. I saved as a favorite it to my bookmark website list and will be checking back soon. Take a look at my web site as well and tell me what you think.

  18. It’s truly a nice and useful piece of information. I’m glad that you simply shared this useful information with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.

  19. The root of your writing whilst appearing reasonable at first, did not really work well with me after some time. Somewhere throughout the paragraphs you actually managed to make me a believer unfortunately just for a very short while. I still have a problem with your jumps in assumptions and you would do well to fill in all those gaps. When you actually can accomplish that, I would undoubtedly be amazed.

  20. It’s in point of fact a great and useful piece of information. I’m glad that you just shared this useful info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.

  21. Hello there, simply turned into aware of your weblog thru Google, and located that it’s truly informative. I am gonna watch out for brussels. I will appreciate when you continue this in future. Lots of other people shall be benefited out of your writing. Cheers!

  22. I in addition to my guys appeared to be examining the excellent helpful tips located on your web blog and immediately I got a horrible suspicion I had not expressed respect to you for those techniques. All of the young men were definitely for that reason warmed to read all of them and have definitely been taking pleasure in these things. We appreciate you getting considerably helpful and then for choosing this kind of incredible guides millions of individuals are really eager to be aware of. My personal honest regret for not expressing appreciation to you earlier.

  23. I am extremely impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Either way keep up the excellent quality writing, it’s rare to see a nice blog like this one today..

  24. Does your blog have a contact page? I’m having a tough time locating it but, I’d like to send you an email. I’ve got some recommendations for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it develop over time.

  25. Do you have a spam issue on this blog; I also am a blogger, and I was curious about your situation; we have created some nice procedures and we are looking to trade methods with others, be sure to shoot me an e-mail if interested.

  26. I have observed that in digital camera models, extraordinary devices help to maintain focus automatically. Those sensors regarding some video cameras change in in the area of contrast, while others use a beam of infra-red (IR) light, specifically in low lumination. Higher standards cameras occasionally use a blend of both methods and likely have Face Priority AF where the digital camera can ‘See’ a face as you concentrate only upon that. Many thanks for sharing your notions on this blog.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here