After so many articles and schemes about how to find a mentor, and get mentored, you would think it’s a formality. But for most entrepreneurs, start-up and even other executives, we found that a lot of assumptions are getting in the way before you even apply to attend a mentoring programme. So at Ogunte, we have crowdsourced among our peer network of social leaders and women social entrepreneurs, the myths and assumptions that are coming in the way, and got a few pointers to get your started.
o a mentor will solve all my problems
o my mentor knows everything
o my mentor is a superhero
o my mentor occupies a higher position
o a mentor can only be a person
o my mentor knows everything about my industry
o my mentor will stay with me for life
o I have to see my mentor every week
o I can not challenge my mentor
o trustees on my board can’t mentor me…
o my mentor has to be a man
o my mentor has to be a woman
Your behaviour as a mentee, if you want to get the most out of it.
It’s all in the questions:
o Be critical about the questions you ask!
o Do you understand what you really want to know?
o Does your question contain different topics or is it unique, clear, time-bound and measurable?
o Be ready to have your topic challenged, as sometimes a question reveals an underpinning emotional or behavioural concern…
o be clear about what you would like to learn from the outset (knowing that it might shift during the relationship).
o be committed to the time you want to dedicate to the mentoring sessions.
o try short sessions first (ie 20 minutes over the phone) to train yourself to get to the point and prepare your questions carefully.
o set time aside before and after the session for preparation and research.
o stick to the plan
o plan your sessions ahead.
o Accept that sometimes there is no fixing possible or no immediate solution, but that the answer is rather in the thinking process.
Be aware of what the mentor, their contribution and their time, are worth:
o How will you manage and use this intelligence?
o What will it be worth for you? (the impact of the relationship)
o What is your mentor gaining from mentoring you?
o what is their motivation and expectation?
o A mentor can request to observe you in action to understand you better.
o Sometimes, honest feedback can hurt and change doesn’t seem natural.
o Be open to learning, exploration and change. To do so, go forward, little by little, step by step and capture your learning at each stage of the journey (record it, write it down for yourself or on a blog, draw it…)
o Go back to this journey and appreciate each step!
o a mentor is not necessarily a physical person, it can be a group of people, a focus group, an organisation you decide to shadow for a determined period to form an opinion.
o a mentoring journey can be a succession of insightful experiences.
o become a mentor yourself.
o do a swap shop in duo or triad: mentor someone and let them mentor you on another topic.
o Be bold and ask someone whom you wouldn’t have met in ordinary circumstances…
o to influence others
o to learn how to communicate clearly
o to be excited to see someone making progress
o to be challenged
o to walk the talk
o to get a glimpse of the other side!
Ogunte CIC is the organisation that helps women make an impact on people and planet.
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