A Quickie — 3 Ways to Diminish Negative Self-Talk

Here’s an article I wrote for a Syracuse University health newsletter. I’m publishing it on Project Eve as a good, quick reminder of the basics of eliminating negative self-talk and as a reminder of the roots of my blog: the book project, Handbook #1 for Intelligent Women: Break the Negative Self-Talk Habit. I’m now thinking of different titles: Ban Negative Self-Talk or The Internal Revolution, the title of Sheryl Sandberg’s Introductory chapter to Lean In.

Negative self–talk is a useless habit that keeps us stuck, feeling miserable. Those ugly thoughts blast us, ”I’m not good enough,” “ I’m an imposter” or ask, “What’s wrong with me?” Regardless of whether you call that inner voice your critic, a demon, or the pain in the neck, it creates stress, reduces confidence, and decreases productivity. Now is the time to kick the habit.

Here are three major skills you can practice. Research supports the effectiveness of all three in combating self-sabotage. What works best for you?

• Cognitive restructuring is psycho-babble for changing what you’re thinking and saying to yourself.

1.Change the thought from negative to neutral/realistic. E.g. “I’m making this situation worse. What an idiot!” to “I’m managing the situation. That’s good enough for now.”

2. Visualize a STOP sign blocking the inner critic or turn down the volume on the inner NST or imagine the words of the critic evaporate like steam.

3. Use a short realistic/neutral phrase to drown out the critical voice.  “It is what it is.” “I will be fine and I will be OK.” “I can do this.” “I’m starting to relax. Just breathe.” Repeat in robot-like pattern until the inner critic shushes. When the NST returns (it will) choose another similar phrase and repeat the same phrase or use another one. Establish a habit pattern. e.g. breath in and say “Let”, breathe out and say “Go”, thinking about letting go of the words and sounds of the inner critic.

• Problem-solving thinking produces another proven way to reduce the stress of NST.

 

    1. Ask. Do I have some control over the situation that’s the focus of negative self-talk? Work problems, appearance issues, relationships?
    2.  If you have control, then identify the problem, gather some information, generate possible solutions, try one out and evaluate. It’s a cyclical process, so if your solution didn’t work, try another one. If you have no control over the situation, move on to skill three, detachment or letting go.

 

• Detachment and distraction moves you away from nasty NST and the resulting bummed out feelings.

1. Shift your attention from the negative self-talk to external events, views, actions: take a short walk, read a brief passage from a book, a report, a newspaper, focus on the view out the window, pull up some weeks, watch a funny You Tube clip. Letting go of the NST will result in increased comfort and confidence. Remember — NST increases stress, decreases confidence, diminished productivity. Doing something else other than NST with your mind is almost always preferable.

Recent neuroscience research says breaking a habit is harder than previously believed, but it can be done. The old NST habit has to be weakened before the new realistic thinking habit can be acquired, so start now to leave negative self-talk behind you by 2015!

If you want more information about any of these techniques, just search for the key words cognitive restructuring, problem-solving, and detachment on http://intelligentwomenonly.com You’ll come up with more posts about each of these important how to’s.

 

Share small business news, blogs and social media tips with Project Eve’s community of small business owners and entrepreneurs today. Our contributors come from a wide range of backgrounds; so whether you are a small business owner, social media strategist, financial adviser, serial entrepreneur, or write an amateur blog we urge you to contribute a blog to our 500,000+ community today. For more information, please refer to our Content Submissions Guidelines.

Add a Blog

400 COMMENTS

  1. 936256 968931Although you are any of the lucky enough choices, it comes evidently, even though capture the fancy with the specific coveted by ly folks other useful you you meet might possibly effectively have hard times this certain issue. pre owned awnings 334122

  2. 183834 497219Spot up for this write-up, I actually believe this internet website requirements a fantastic deal much more consideration. Ill likely to end up once again to read a good deal more, several thanks for that information. 196939

  3. 970136 727124hi!,I like your writing so a whole lot! share we communicate far much more about your write-up on AOL? I need to have a specialist on this location to solve my difficulty. Could be thats you! Searching forward to see you. 954030

  4. 214604 706020I identified your weblog web site on google and check a couple of of your early posts. Proceed to maintain up the extremely excellent operate. I just extra up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. Looking for ahead to reading extra from you later on! 200288

  5. Wonderful work! This is the type of info that should be shared around the net. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher! Come on over and visit my web site . Thanks =)

  6. This design is spectacular! You certainly know how to keep a reader entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Wonderful job. I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!

  7. I have noticed that smart real estate agents everywhere you go are getting set to FSBO Advertising and marketing. They are noticing that it’s not only placing a sign in the front property. It’s really with regards to building interactions with these suppliers who someday will become customers. So, when you give your time and efforts to assisting these retailers go it alone : the “Law of Reciprocity” kicks in. Good blog post.

  8. If you are ready to watch funny videos on the net then I suggest you to pay a quick visit this web site, it includes really therefore funny not only video clips but also other stuff.

  9. Today, considering the fast way of life that everyone leads, credit cards have a huge demand throughout the economy. Persons from every area are using the credit card and people who not using the card have made up their minds to apply for one. Thanks for giving your ideas about credit cards.

  10. Thanks for your write-up on the vacation industry. I will also like to add that if you’re a senior taking into account traveling, it truly is absolutely vital that you buy travel cover for elderly people. When traveling, retirees are at greatest risk of experiencing a healthcare emergency. Obtaining right insurance policies package in your age group can safeguard your health and provide you with peace of mind.

  11. naturally like your web site but you have to check the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very bothersome to tell the truth nevertheless I’ll definitely come back again.

  12. Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that I get in fact enjoyed account your blog posts. Anyway I will be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access consistently fast.

  13. Thanks for revealing your ideas. Something is that college students have an option between federal student loan and also a private education loan where its easier to choose student loan consolidation than over the federal education loan.

  14. Hello, i think that i saw you visited my weblog so i came to “return the favor”.I am trying to find things to enhance my site!I suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas!!

  15. Coming from my research, shopping for consumer electronics online can for sure be expensive, however there are some how-to’s that you can use to obtain the best bargains. There are continually ways to discover discount deals that could make one to hold the best consumer electronics products at the cheapest prices. Great blog post.

  16. Great items from you, man. I have take note your stuff previous to and you’re simply too fantastic. I really like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what you’re saying and the way in which wherein you are saying it. You are making it enjoyable and you continue to take care of to keep it sensible. I can not wait to read far more from you. This is really a tremendous website.

  17. One thing is the fact that one of the most widespread incentives for applying your cards is a cash-back as well as rebate provision. Generally, you get 1-5 back on various expenses. Depending on the card, you may get 1 back on most expenditures, and 5 again on expenditures made from convenience stores, filling stations, grocery stores as well as ‘member merchants’.

  18. Thanks for sharing most of these wonderful threads. In addition, the right travel plus medical insurance program can often eliminate those concerns that come with traveling abroad. Some sort of medical emergency can shortly become costly and that’s guaranteed to quickly set a financial problem on the family’s finances. Having in place the excellent travel insurance bundle prior to setting off is worth the time and effort. Cheers

  19. Hi there I am so thrilled I found your web site, I really found you by error, while I was researching on Google for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a tremendous post and a all round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read it all at the moment but I have book-marked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read more, Please do keep up the excellent work.

  20. Hello I am so excited I found your website, I really found you by mistake, while I was browsing on Yahoo for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a marvelous post and a all round exciting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read it all at the minute but I have book-marked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the excellent job.

  21. After I originally left a comment I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added I receive four emails with the same comment. There has to be a way you can remove me from that service? Thank you!

  22. I believe that avoiding highly processed foods would be the first step to help lose weight. They could taste very good, but packaged foods have very little nutritional value, making you eat more just to have enough strength to get with the day. If you are constantly consuming these foods, transferring to cereals and other complex carbohydrates will help you to have more power while consuming less. Good blog post.

  23. whoah this blog is wonderful i love reading your articles. Keep up the great work! You know, a lot of people are hunting around for this info, you could help them greatly.

  24. Howdy! This post could not be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this article to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

  25. This paragraph on the topic of Search engine marketing is in fact nice one, and the back links are in fact very useful to market your site, its also called Search engine optimisation.

  26. Good day! This is kind of off topic but I need some help from an established blog. Is it difficult to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I’m thinking about creating my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any tips or suggestions? Cheers

  27. I’m impressed, I must say. Really not often do I encounter a weblog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you will have hit the nail on the head. Your thought is excellent; the difficulty is one thing that not sufficient people are speaking intelligently about. I’m very comfortable that I stumbled across this in my search for something referring to this.

  28. Interesting blog post. Things i would like to bring up is that computer memory must be purchased but if your computer still can’t cope with what you do with it. One can mount two random access memory boards with 1GB each, as an example, but not certainly one of 1GB and one having 2GB. One should look for the manufacturer’s documentation for one’s PC to be certain what type of memory space is needed.

  29. After I originally left a comment I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I recieve 4 emails with the exact same comment. There has to be a way you are able to remove me from that service? Appreciate it!

  30. Do you have a spam problem on this blog; I
    also am a blogger, and I was wanting to know your situation; we have developed some nice practices and we are looking to
    swap strategies with others, please shoot me an e-mail if interested.

  31. I think other site proprietors should take this site as an model, very clean and magnificent user friendly style and design, let alone the content. You are an expert in this topic!

  32. Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed.
    There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never
    wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!

  33. I do agree with all the concepts you’ve introduced to your post.
    They’re very convincing and will definitely work.

    Still, the posts are too short for newbies. Could you please prolong them a little from next time?
    Thank you for the post.

  34. you’re in point of fact a just right webmaster. The website loading pace is amazing. It seems that you’re doing any distinctive trick. Moreover, The contents are masterwork. you’ve performed a wonderful process in this subject!

  35. I have been exploring for a bit for any high-quality articles or weblog
    posts on this kind of house . Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this web
    site. Reading this information So i am happy to show that I have an incredibly just right uncanny feeling I discovered just what I needed.
    I most without a doubt will make certain to do not omit this web site and give
    it a look on a constant basis.

  36. I will right away grasp your rss feed as I can’t find your email subscription link or e-newsletter service. Do you have any? Kindly let me recognize so that I may subscribe. Thanks.

  37. I have been exploring for a little bit for any high-quality articles or blog posts on this sort of area . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this site. Reading this information So i’m happy to convey that I’ve a very good uncanny feeling I discovered just what I needed. I most certainly will make sure to do not forget this site and give it a glance on a constant basis.

  38. Thank you for some other magnificent post. The place else may just anyone get that type of information in such an ideal way of writing? I’ve a presentation next week, and I’m at the look for such information.

  39. I’m still learning from you, while I’m trying to reach my goals. I definitely enjoy reading all that is written on your site.Keep the information coming. I loved it!

  40. Hi would you mind sharing which blog platform
    you’re using? I’m looking to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a difficult time
    choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
    The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique.
    P.S My apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!

  41. Howdy! Someone in my Myspace group shared this website with us so I came to take a look. I’m definitely loving the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Great blog and amazing design.

  42. A lot of thanks for your entire hard work on this website. Debby really likes engaging in research and it’s really easy to see why. My partner and i hear all of the powerful manner you produce powerful suggestions through this web site and in addition welcome contribution from others about this idea then our girl is truly understanding so much. Take advantage of the remaining portion of the new year. You are carrying out a first class job.

  43. I just want to say I am very new to blogs and truly savored you’re web site. More than likely I’m likely to bookmark your website . You amazingly come with superb articles and reviews. Regards for sharing your webpage.

  44. sebagian masyarakat dikala ini yang memilih untuk tetap menikmati kesibukan menyenangkan diri dengan permainan situs togel online secara online. Sedangkan memang situs judi online mama togel yakni hiburan yang telah betul-betul banyak dimainkan oleh masyarakat dan ada tata tertib serta sanksi yang ketat untuk kita yang terbukti bermain mama togel online melainkan hal itu kongkretnya belum dapat seutuhnnya membuat bermain bandar togel terpercaya dihentikan.

  45. I am not sure where you are getting your info, but great topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for excellent info I was looking for this info for my mission.

  46. I just couldn’t go away your website before suggesting that I really loved the standard info a person supply for your guests? Is going to be again continuously in order to inspect new posts

  47. [url=http://viagrau.com/]viagra online[/url] [url=http://aucialis.com/]cialis 20mg[/url] [url=http://nzviagra.com/]discount viagra[/url] [url=http://cacialis.com/]cialis coupon[/url] [url=http://levitraau.com/]buy levitra[/url]

  48. I don’t even know how I finished up here, but I believed this submit was good. I do not understand who you are however definitely you’re going to a well-known blogger for those who aren’t already. Cheers!|

  49. Hey there! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any problems with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing months of hard work due to no data backup. Do you have any solutions to stop hackers?|

  50. After examine a couple of of the blog posts on your web site now, and I truly like your manner of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website checklist and shall be checking again soon. Pls try my website as nicely and let me know what you think.

  51. I am extremely impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Anyway keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a great blog like this one today.|

  52. I think this is one of the most important information for me. And i’m glad reading your article. But should remark on few general things, The website style is perfect, the articles is really excellent : D. Good job, cheers|

  53. I just want to mention I’m all new to blogs and certainly savored you’re web site. More than likely I’m want to bookmark your site . You surely have good writings. Appreciate it for sharing your web page.

  54. Fantastic beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your website, how could i subscribe for a weblog site? The account helped me a acceptable deal. I have been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided vibrant transparent idea|

  55. Hello there! I could have sworn I’ve been to your blog before but after going through a few of the articles I realized it’s new to me. Nonetheless, I’m definitely delighted I stumbled upon it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back often!|

  56. An outstanding share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a friend who had been doing a little research on this. And he in fact bought me dinner due to the fact that I discovered it for him… lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending some time to discuss this subject here on your web page.|

  57. Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and help others like you aided me.|

  58. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is fantastic blog. A great read. I will certainly be back.|

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here