Balanced Life: Your Vision of You

When was the last time you asked yourself who you wanted to be? Have you noticed any changes in your answers, compared to say, 5 or 10 years ago?

I used to consider this question (“who do I want to be when I grow up?) a lot when I was younger. Wrote about it in my journals and essays; talked about it with friends, career counselors, professors (what a nerd right?).

Then I graduated and started working on my career and my life. I took a path that was in line with my vision of me. I worked it, invested time and energy on it.

Reflecting on all this over 22 years later, I can say that by and large, I ended up where I wanted to be. Where my career took me professionally, generally speaking, is how I imagined it to be years and years ago (well, perhaps minus a couple of extra zeros on the paycheck). My life reflects the priorities I set for myself.

Except I didn’t count on the fact that this image in my head, the one formed when I was starting out, would change over time. Oblivious to the subtle changes, I kept plugging away with that vision of myself, sometimes sub-consciously discarding other options that might take me down a path away from it.

The thing is, it did change, this vision of myself. It became fuller; in some areas more complex and in some a lot simpler. And I didn’t notice it in time to make the necessary adjustments in my career and my life. Today, I find myself reflecting that “this” isn’t what I want anymore (or perhaps, I never really wanted it?).

It’s like setting your sights to California all your life, and you work hard towards California, and you get there, and you go “wait a minute, is this really what I want?” You didn’t catch that somewhere along the way to California, you met people headed to other destinations, or you got detoured and discovered other places that appealed a lot to you – like Wyoming, or Dallas, or Kentucky. But you kept heading towards California, because that’s where you said you wanted to be… except you said that years and years ago, and you didn’t realize you don’t quite want to head there anymore.

There is something to be said about having a vision of ourselves and of being headstrong about that vision.

I now realize it’s equally important to revisit that vision from time to time. To check and make sure it’s still where we want to be. Really question ourselves. Especially when no one’s watching because often, that’s when we get to the true answers.

We grow. We transition from one stage to the next. And who we want to be, where we want to go, the things we value most – those things change too.

Lou Blaser explores and writes about rediscovery, reinvention, and redefining ourselves, all in pursuit of a full and balanced life. Please visit her at www.workxycodone.com.

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