I joined a 60 day video challenge a couple months ago and dropped out after 15 days. Looking back now I realize that I was doomed to fail before I even started. Why?
I don’t like myself on camera. There are very few pictures of me and those that exist are few and far between. There was a brief period when I was into my hair and took a lot of ‘selfies’ but that has passed. People who know me well know that I really don’t like to take pictures and usually have to resort to sneak attacks in order to get one.
So why in the world did I join a video challenge?!
Well I wanted to step out of my comfort zone, and even though this was going way outside of that zone, I wanted to push myself. I also thought this would help with my consistency issues because I would have to do this every day and I thought this would spill in to other areas I was struggling with, like writing.
What I failed to realize is that because the challenge involved doing something that I disliked so much, I subconsciously sabotaged myself. I would come up with all kinds of reasons not to do a video: I was too busy, I didn’t know what I was doing, my videos weren’t as good as others, blah blah blah. The real reason was because I just didn’t like myself on camera and didn’t want to do it.
I love a challenge and I really enjoy pushing myself to try new things, learn new things, and continue to improve myself and grow but I realize now that if I really dislike something so much that I subconsciously set myself up to fail, then that something is not for me.
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