Daring Greatly with Money

Although it will be three years this December when Brene Brown first gave her now viral talk on vulnerability at a TED conference, I had only “discovered” her myself about a year ago when I had a layover and finally got a chance to browse the TED app that I had purchased on my phone. Since then, it seems that I see her presence everywhere—on the Amazon’s bestseller list for her new book Daring Greatly, on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday, and most recently, at a local moms group as the featured topic for their monthly meeting.

It goes without saying that I LOVED her talk and new book. I am an official BBG – Brene Brown Groupie. If you haven’t had a chance to view her work, please stop reading and do so now.

For those of you who are already familiar with Brene (yes, we are on a first name basis now), it’s hard to identify just one reason why her message seems to resonate with so many people. Is it her straight-shooting Texas humor? Her down to earth, tell-it-like–it-is honesty? Her ability to legitimize any self-help speak with scientific research? Or the fact that by seeing Brene be so vulnerable herself and open about her own shame, we find the courage to follow in her footsteps and do the same?

As a personal coach and financial planner, I know that if there is one thing that people have difficulty being vulnerable about and which has “shame” written all over it, it’s the topic of money. We can passionately disagree over politics, wax poetic about the achievements of our kids, and commiserate over mid-life ailments from torn ACLs to gluten allergies. But we tip toe around the issue of money, following the unspoken cultural norm that it’s just not something you are supposed to talk about.

So in honor of my new professional crush, I thought I’d put in my own two cents on how to develop a healthier relationship with finances. Is it possible to “dare greatly” and become more vulnerable and less shameful when it comes to money?

Own Your Story – In Daring Greatly, Brene suggests that we need to find the courage to be authentic and own our own story. With the issue of money, often this means that we first need to uncover the old stories we may have inherited from our childhood but that we still may be carrying with us.

An easy way to do this is to google proverbs or sayings about money, and see which ones resonate with you. Is it that “money doesn’t grow on trees” and therefore you equate hard work with money (or a lack of money with not working hard enough)? Is it that “neither borrower nor lender be” and therefore you always go at it alone with a force field around your wallet? Even seemingly more positive spins on money, such as “the best things in life are free” and “money isn’t everything” may subconsciously be affecting how you view your personal finances in ways you don’t even realize.

The point is not necessarily to change these beliefs but to be aware of them. Only when you are aware of them can you begin to question whether they still ring true and are serving you. If not, it’s time to create your own story about money and what you want its role in your life to be.

Stay in your business – Alas, if we could only stop comparing ourselves to others…

Brene says that “We judge people in areas where we’re vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we’re doing…We’re hard on each other because we’re using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deficiency.”

This is true with so many things, from body image to professional success and certainly with regard to money. The operative word in Brene’s quote is “judge.” Judging someone else’s situation as a way to measure yourself is the surest way to be perpetually miserable. I don’t know anyone who has tried to keep up with the Joneses and is also happy. The more you stay out of the Joneses businesses and stay in your own, the more peace you will have regarding your own financial situation.

Net worth does not equal self-worth – Brene encourages us “to let ourselves be seen—deeply seen, vulnerably seen. To believe that we are enough.” At the end of the day, that means truly believing that your net worth does not equal your self-worth.

Of course, money is important and can be an incredibly powerful and positive force in our lives. But at the end of the day, we are not our bank accounts, our vacations, our cars, our houses, etc. Having the courage to let others see who you are without any ties to your net worth is the first step toward not only developing a healthier relationship with money, but healthier relationships with everyone in our lives.

Being vulnerable with regard to money doesn’t mean we have to share everything about our finances with people we don’t know, or even people we do know. But it does mean that we have to be more authentic and less shameful, about how much money we may have or may not have, and all the stories about money that we have been telling ourselves for so long.

As Brene might say, I dare you.

Add a Blog


  1. This is why it is important to check the payout percentage and its ratio to the house edge.
    Some people might not believe about the attractive free welcome bonus, but they should check it out
    on the original website of the 918KISS casino platform.
    So for those who cannot afford a smartphone, worry no more, you can get 918Kiss PC Download for free and start playing it on your PC upon successful registration. The platform
    provides its users seamless betting experience who like to
    play casino slot games or else sports betting games. As they
    are providing the mobile in-app gaming method, so you can experience the convenience of the online gambling
    on the mobile. You can request withdraw your game credit once you balance exceed RM50.
    All you have to do is just request the download link with us and download the 918KISS apk to your smartphones and
    install, the whole process would only took less than 5 minutes long to be done.
    After install you need to request a FREE game ID
    by register your 918kiss ID here, you need to topup your account (minimum RM30)
    to start your game. After that download the 918Kiss APK onto your mobile
    device, then you able to start gambling with the 918 Kiss Casino Games.
    If you previously have downloaded 918kiss or any other online casino
    game, then we are pretty sure you know how to download this.
    When you have successfully get the code for 918KISS Hack, you can enjoy playing tons of gambling games fearlessly now.

  2. What I have constantly told people today is that when searching for a good on the net electronics retail store, there are a few issues that you have to remember to consider. First and foremost, you should make sure to find a reputable and reliable retail store that has got great opinions and rankings from other customers and industry analysts. This will make sure that you are getting along with a well-known store that gives good service and assistance to the patrons. Many thanks for sharing your notions on this weblog.

  3. I have taken note that of all different types of insurance, health care insurance is the most dubious because of the struggle between the insurance plan company’s obligation to remain adrift and the customer’s need to have insurance. Insurance companies’ commission rates on well being plans are certainly low, so some organizations struggle to earn profits. Thanks for the strategies you reveal through your blog.

  4. Thanks for the thoughts you share through this site. In addition, numerous young women who seem to become pregnant usually do not even make an effort to get health insurance because they worry they won’t qualify. Although some states now require that insurers offer coverage no matter what about the pre-existing conditions. Costs on these kind of guaranteed plans are usually bigger, but when thinking about the high cost of health care bills it may be some sort of a safer approach to take to protect your own financial future.

  5. Thanks for the helpful content. It is also my belief that mesothelioma has an particularly long latency time, which means that signs and symptoms of the disease may not emerge right up until 30 to 50 years after the initial exposure to asbestos fiber. Pleural mesothelioma, that is the most common type and influences the area throughout the lungs, might cause shortness of breath, chest pains, as well as a persistent cough, which may bring on coughing up maintain.

  6. 15263 372462The when I just read a weblog, Im hoping that this doesnt disappoint me approximately this 1. Get real, Yes, it was my method to read, but When i thought youd have something intriguing to state. All I hear is really a number of whining about something which you could fix really should you werent too busy trying to find attention. 257056

  7. naturally like your website however you have to take a look at the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very bothersome to inform the reality on the other hand I’ll definitely come back again.

  8. I loved as much as you will receive performed right here. The caricature is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nevertheless, you command get bought an shakiness over that you wish be handing over the following. unwell no doubt come further beforehand again since exactly the similar just about a lot frequently inside case you defend this increase.

  9. I have not checked in here for a while because I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are great quality so I guess I’ll add you back to my everyday bloglist. You deserve it my friend :)

  10. Having read this I thought it was extremely enlightening. I appreciate you finding the time and effort to put this information together. I once again find myself spending a lot of time both reading and posting comments. But so what, it was still worthwhile!

  11. I’ve been exploring for a little bit for any high-quality articles or blog posts in this kind of house . Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this site. Reading this information So i’m satisfied to exhibit that I’ve an incredibly excellent uncanny feeling I came upon just what I needed. I so much indisputably will make certain to do not disregard this web site and give it a look regularly.

  12. One thing is always that one of the most widespread incentives for making use of your credit card is a cash-back or rebate offer. Generally, you’ll receive 1-5 back in various buying. Depending on the credit card, you may get 1 again on most buying, and 5 again on purchases made at convenience stores, gas stations, grocery stores along with ‘member merchants’.

  13. Hi there! This is kind of off topic but I need some help from an established blog. Is it very hard to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking about making my own but I’m not sure where to start. Do you have any ideas or suggestions? Thanks

  14. Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the images on this blog loading? I’m trying to determine if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog. Any feed-back would be greatly appreciated.

  15. Thanks for the thoughts you reveal through your blog. In addition, lots of young women that become pregnant do not even seek to get health insurance because they are full of fearfulness they couldn’t qualify. Although a few states at this moment require that insurers offer coverage regardless of pre-existing conditions. Charges on these types of guaranteed options are usually greater, but when thinking about the high cost of medical care it may be the safer route to take to protect your financial future.

  16. Hmm it seems like your website ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I had written and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to the whole thing. Do you have any helpful hints for novice blog writers? I’d definitely appreciate it.

  17. Howdy! Someone in my Facebook group shared this site with us so I came to take a look. I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Excellent blog and great style and design.

  18. Good – I should certainly pronounce, impressed with your site. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs and related info ended up being truly easy to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it at all. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, web site theme . a tones way for your customer to communicate. Excellent task..

  19. Greetings from Idaho! I’m bored to death at work so I decided to browse your blog on my iphone during lunch break. I enjoy the information you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m surprised at how quick your blog loaded on my mobile .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, great blog!

  20. An impressive share, I simply given this onto a colleague who was doing a little evaluation on this. And he the truth is bought me breakfast as a result of I discovered it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! However yeah Thnkx for spending the time to debate this, I feel strongly about it and love studying extra on this topic. If attainable, as you grow to be experience, would you thoughts updating your blog with extra details? It’s highly useful for me. Massive thumb up for this weblog publish!

  21. Good – I should certainly pronounce, impressed with your site. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs as well as related info ended up being truly easy to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it in the least. Quite unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, web site theme . a tones way for your customer to communicate. Nice task..

  22. 116268 980217Wow! This could be one specific with the most useful blogs Weve ever arrive across on this topic. In fact Wonderful. Im also an expert in this topic therefore I can realize your hard function. 869679

  23. 758251 538643 Nice post. I learn something more challenging on different blogs everyday. It will always be stimulating to read content from other writers and practice just a little something from their store. Id prefer to use some with the content on my weblog whether you dont mind. Natually Ill give you a link on your internet weblog. Thanks for sharing. 440555


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here