Constructive Feedback: Getting and Giving It

Giving and receiving feedback is shaky ground for a lot of us: moments when our work, our ideas, and our actions are open are places of immense vulnerability. But they are also the places we are the most open and receptive. If nurtured, this is where ideas evolve and innovation emerges.

Disagreement — saying this could be different and how — is an essential part of the learning process. We evolve through disagreement. Ideas are enriched through challenge.  Connections are deepened through authentic communication.

Yet giving and receiving feedback or differentiated viewpoints is one of the greatest sources of fear in our culture.  Our capacity to courageously hear and speak honestly with one another is the key to wholehearted living.

Graceful disagreement creates incredible opportunity in relationships.  Brené Brown feedback guidelines can be used as a way to set the stage for graceful disagreement:

Guidelines for Engaged Feedback – Brene Brown

I know I am ready to give feedback when:

  • I’m ready to sit next to you rather than across from you.
  • I’m willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us (or sliding it toward you).
  • I’m ready to listen ask questions, and accept that I may not fully understand the issue.
  • I want to acknowledge what you do well instead of picking apart your mistakes.
  • I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges.
  • I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming you.
  • I’m willing to own my part.
  • I can genuinely thank you for your efforts rather than criticize you for your failings.
  • I can talk about how resolving these challenges will lead to your growth and opportunity.
  • I can model the vulnerability and openness that I expect to see from you.

We sometimes forget that offering and hearing feedback can be a place of mutuality and growth. Disharmony and discomfort can be grounds for transformation once grace and compassion are in the mix.

What authentic relationships require is the capacity to both hear and speak honestly together. We need to seek the fullness of multiple complete thoughts, even and especially if they are in conflict.

Share small business news, blogs and social media tips with Project Eve’s community of small business owners and entrepreneurs today. Our contributors come from a wide range of backgrounds; so whether you are a small business owner, social media strategist, financial adviser, serial entrepreneur, or write an amateur blog we urge you to contribute a blog to our 500,000+ community today. For more information, please refer to our Content Submissions Guidelines. Be sure visit our sister sites: Getting Balance for all topics related to health, wellness and the good life. Project Eve Moms which focuses on making parenting easier. Scary Puppy Silly Kitty for cute pet photos and videos. And Project Eve Money for advice on living the good life on a budget.

Add a Blog


  1. 435882 7336It is a shame you dont have a donate button! Id without a doubt donate to this brilliant weblog! I suppose for now ill settle for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will share this weblog with my Facebook group. Chat soon! 253862

  2. 173870 308740Hello. Cool article. Theres an concern with the web site in internet explorer, and you may want to test this The browser could be the marketplace chief and a large element of other folks will miss your wonderful writing due to this issue. 931186

  3. 246023 615638yourselfm as burning with excitement along accumulative concentrating. alter ego was rather apocalyptic by the mated ethical self went up to. Its punk up to closed ego dispirited. All respecting those topics are movables her need to discover no end touching unpronounced. Thanks so much! 259067

  4. There are some interesting points in time in this article but I don?t know if I see all of them center to heart. There is some validity but I will take hold opinion until I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we want more! Added to FeedBurner as well


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here