Right From The Start
It is impossible to say exactly how having a baby is your to effect any specific marriage. The personalities of both people come into play as well as the ability of your partner to understand what you are going through. Many women will become highly hormonal, both during pregnancy and shortly after birth. If your partner is unable to understand this and that it is not personal, it could cause issues.
Your partner should be included in the process from the moment you find out that you are pregnant. Reading the book, “What to Expect When You Are Expecting” together is a great way to help your husband understand what may happen and what to expect. Men have a greater tendency to not feel that the baby or pregnancy is real until the child is born and they can see it. They cannot necessarily help this, it is the way they are wired and they are not filled with raging hormones like you are.
Couples who are able to communicate effectively will definitely get through the process much easier. Being able to talk, set boundaries and ask for what you need is important, both for you and him. He needs to be able to ask you questions and also to understand that sometimes you are just going to be grumpy.
After the birth of your child, it is very important to have clear ideas of who is going to be responsible for what and to know that you can count on each other. If you have always typically been responsible for the housework, letting your husband know ahead of time that he is going to need to now take some of that load on is vital. Talk about this BEFORE it becomes an issue. Understand that both of you are going to be doing this ‘baby thing’ together right from the beginning and your marriage does not need to suffer. In fact, many couples report that having a baby brought them closer together.
Lack Of Sleep and Effects On Sex Life
Anytime there is a new baby in the house, there are going to be midnight and 5am feedings. There will be nights that you just will not get any sleep and this will absolutely take a toll on your nerves and your sex life. The good news is that this only lasts for a few months and most babies will settle into sleep routines within the first six months. There will always be the occasional disrupted nights as your children have bad dreams, illnesses and such but overall you will get back to normal routines soon enough.
One way that couples can avoid arguments is to take turns in who is getting up with baby so that it doesn’t just take a toll on just one parent. Lack of sleep can quickly turn into resentment if either parent feels that the other isn’t doing their fair share. Some couples have also reported that having a date night has greatly improved their lives. A few hours alone by leaving baby with grandparents or aunts and uncles so that they can just go have some alone time is important. Even if you use that time alone in your own house. Hint.