Forgiveness, Fear, Faith…”F” words we need to speak of

outside the boxThese perspectives of “f” bombs are words that happen to begin with the letter f that can be considered f bombs to some. As an individual who is on a never ending journey to better myself, I like to examine the unexamined and challenge us to meet the needs of our true selves as opposed to what early learnings and outside influences have taught and hypnotized us with. My intention is to guide you through some exploration so that your mind clears up and you build your capacity for making clear intentions for yourself in moving your journey forward in the best way you are able.
Lately, how many times have you talked about, thought and/or used the following five words: forgiveness, faith, fear, feelings, forward?

The “f” in forgiveness stands for freedom. When you forgive others, you free yourself of the situation. Forgiveness is so powerful because when we forgive, we let go and surrender. Forgiveness is more for you than any other person. Usually, we need to forgive ourselves in any situation. We forget how hard we are on ourselves because of society’s influence of looking outside of ourselves and learning easily to blame others. In fact most grievances we have with others are really disguised as a grievance we have with ourselves. Learning how to love this part of you, your shadow is a most challenging solution. Forgiveness is a huge part of getting through and meeting this challenge. Loving all parts of you, the good, the bad and the ugly breaks through the core grievance with others and most importantly with yourself.

Keeping and restoring faith are two of the hardest things to do. Believing in the unseen and encouraging others to, is no easy task. Yet, that is at the center of any spiritual and/or religious practice. I started to learn the strength and meaning of faith when I was sixteen and met a woman named Faith who survived abuse and lived with such grace. We were friends for some time and I admired her peacefulness, probably as others might admire mine. She held such great presence without being loud, or calling attention to herself. She taught me the leadership quality of kindness and certainly role modeled how to believe deeper in yourself. I think people struggle with what to have faith in. How about yourself, your instincts, the greater universe? That is what I have faith in. At times, I struggle because I allow outside influences to question my faith and then I have to post the mental yield sign up in my mind to reject these negative messages.

Fear is the “f” word no one talks about and is felt most. Thank goodness for self help books, they remind us that we actually do have a choice in a matter. You have a choice of fear or love. Our society is entrenched in fear, forgetting that love is a choice we can make. This is why meditation is such a powerful practice. Meditation helps you center yourself allowing you to feel secure and this can help you build courage to choose love.
Much of fear comes from not knowing, from outside influences, from beliefs that we are attached to that no longer serve us and from being stuck in past experiences. This is why faith is so important, without it, fear can rule and rock your world. Fear distracts you from your original intention. It can be such a strong emotion and you still can choose love, opening yourself up to staying focused and forward thinking. As well as setting the best intentions for your future while staying in the present moment as best you can.

Feelings is the “f” word we need to talk more about. Expressing emotions allows for the ability to focus (another great “f” word) on the present moment and move forward in the best direction in the moment. Feelings are the responsibility of the one who feels them. No one can make you feel a certain way, you choose your feelings. Learning and identifying your emotions helps to express your feelings in a healthy and meaningful way. This builds our emotional intelligence and assists us with making decisions.

Last but not least, the “f” word we actually live for is to move forward. The life journey is meant to move forward. Mistakes and failures are natural processes for us to make better decisions when other familiar situations arise so that our journey continues in the best direction. Life distractions take away our focus. Society has taught us to focus on the negative of what we do not want rather than what we do want. We need to focus forward without living in the future to much. We need to focus on forward thinking without leaving the present moment. It is a delicate balance of learning from our past, being in the present (as it is a gift) and moving forward toward our future. I have faith that you can do it.
Just dropped some powerful “f” bombs on you and I did not have to use the most famous one, Fabulous!

Clarissa Mendez is an organizational development practitioner, coach and consultant. She is passionate about bringing holistic leadership approaches to all leadership and writes about this in the “The Empowered Woman: Purpose, Passion & Possibilities,” due out summer 2014. Follow her blog: and/or @coachclari on twitter. She is available as a panelist, trainer, and guest blogger, you can also find her on Google +.

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