You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.
No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky.
-Dr. Seuss, “Oh! The Places You’ll Go”
I LOVE Dr. Seuss! He was one of my favorites growing up, so naturally, when I had my own child, I knew that the good doctor would be in his life. About a week or so ago, I was reading “Oh! The Places You’ll Go” to Masaya and I kept reading the same section over and over again. Of course he didn’t appreciate that I was having an epiphany and decided to leave the room for more exciting things, but I kept on reading. And it hit me…no, rather it slapped me in the face. And it was a hard ass slap by the way. I was living my life in “The Waiting Place”. Dr. Seuss was so right because it is “a most useless place”. In pretty much all aspects of my life I was waiting for myself, something or someone to act or move or write or change. I sat in my sons’ room and reminisced about the past year and all the waiting I did and frankly, I got pissed. The time I wasted, which turned into disappointment and resentment. The sadness, from knowing that I will never get that time back, began to cover me and I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes. I quickly got it together and put the book back on the shelf, but the thoughts would not stop coming. Something as simple as waiting for a text had me in an emotional tailspin. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Malinda! Come on, its just a text. Get it together.” But my point is that in this age of technology, where my 2 year old son can use an iPad better then I can, why does it take someone 24 hours to send a 30 second text back? Because as I wait and long for that person to be in my life, they obviously don’t want to be in mine. As I wonder why I haven’t heard back from them, they are living their lives, not giving a shit about me. I finally understood that I need to get out of that place, that horrible space.
I committed to a life change that day. I will not wait around for texts or likes on Facebook and Instagram. I will not wait for grown ups to finally grow up. I will not wait for friends that never seem to be around. I will not let my own fears and insecurities hold me back from leaping into the unknown. I will not wait anymore. I will go to that open mic night and stop making excuses. I will write more, no matter how uninspired I feel. I will continue to get up at 5:30am and do yoga because really, no one ever regrets working out. And when I send that text, if you choose not to respond, I’ll just know not to text you anymore. I know that I only want to be around people who want to be around me. I want to love people who truly love me back, not just when its convenient for them. My time, my life and what I give is a precious thing and when I offer it and you choose not to accept, then I will give that gift to someone else who is worthy of me.
But…I will not wait to encourage all of you. I try my best to live my life as honest as I can. I don’t like to tell all my business, but I don’t mind sharing my experiences and what I’ve learned, in the hope that it will not only better me but others as well. Those of you who know me, know that when I speak to you it is from my heart, no pompous or fluffy. As humans we mirror each other and I try to make sure that the reflection of yourself that you see in me is a positive one. And that is what I wish to see in you. That energy will only grow and florish and change the world. And if I don’t see it, I know now not to wait for that reflection to change. Here’s to leaving that waiting place!
Peace, Love & Blessing to you all
*This is a republished post from the author’s blog www.atokyogirlatheart.com originally titled “Hello 2013: Finally Leaving the Waiting Place”