Problem Solved | Focus on your Feelings


Problem Solved

When we are within a conflict or cannot foresee how a problem will be solved, we tend to focus on our feelings rather than simply the facts. Or the facts influence the feelings. Rarely, do we try to change the feelings.

To do so seems unnatural, even absurd.

To change our feelings, we must change our thoughts. For us, this not only seems out of whack to try but a little…out of our minds.

I had doubt on this myself. It seems somewhat deceptive. Don’t people struggle with denial enough?

Well, we also find ourselves replaying certain thoughts and feelings, recreating and reaffirming a narrative of our lives. You have seen it with a best friend who may have lost value in themselves even though you can see it. You have seen it with someone who misses out on an opportunity and somehow cannot find resilience to get back up again.

The other day I watched a video about the resilience of a rain drop. How although it falls, it holds itself together. This was from the Quarks to Quasars facebook page. And what it caused me to reflect on was that remarkable simplicity of resilience: hold it together. It’s how we hold it together that we struggle with.

So, here’s a secret.

Focus on what you would feel if the problem is solved.

To show you that it works, I’ll give you a personal examples. One day, I was down. I was down about a lost relationship, worrying about a creative pursuit and about a person in my life who is sick.

After I decided to focus on what I would feel if the problem was solved (rather than how I felt and perceived things currently), here is what happened:

I felt propelled to do something to reaffirm the reality of my feelings.

I wrote a letter to myself, as if from the person whom I was no longer in contact with, and wrote down what I wished they would say to me so as to gain true closure. You know what happened? After I signed it from them, I felt that closure.

I turned to Google and researched an expert in a professional field that dealt with my creative pursuit. I sent them an email. There, I did not have to have all the answers towards how to pursue it. I only needed to get a conversation starter.

A person in my life is sick and although I cannot solve the sickness, I can do my part. After focusing on what I would feel if the problem were solved, I did small acts of kindness for this person. And it was enough.

We reaffirm the reality of how we feel. We choose how we feel often based on the perception of our reality. But in one day, I learned and have continued to utilize a different angle: focus on what you would feel if the problem were solved…and you are more likely to experience an epiphany on how to solve it.

That’s because sometimes the mind gets in the way. The replaying, the reaffirming what we see in our reality, the retelling of the same narrative…that we forget what power we have. Simply change the focus of your thoughts and use your imagination. Visualize, believe. Create the imaginary experience. How would I feel if this problem were solved?

Instead of seeking a solution to a problem, you acknowledge that it already exists and that you already may have the key to it. That in itself can mobilize you. It did for me.

Good luck.

Add a Blog


  1. Hello there! This article could not be written any better!
    Looking at this article reminds me of my previous roommate!
    He constantly kept talking about this. I most certainly will send this information to him.

    Pretty sure he’ll have a great read. Many thanks for sharing!

  2. 844777 324143Having read this I thought it was quite informative. I appreciate you taking the time and effort to put this post together. I once once again discover myself spending strategy to significantly time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was nonetheless worth it! 991688

  3. 586378 91556An attention-grabbing dialogue is value comment. Im positive that its better to write on this subject, towards the often be a taboo topic but typically persons are not sufficient to speak on such topics. To an additional location. Cheers 471325

  4. Everyone loves what you guys tend to be up too. This sort of clever
    work and reporting! Keep up the good works guys I’ve added you guys to
    my personal blogroll.

  5. Great work! That is the type of info that are meant to be shared across the net.
    Disgrace on Google for no longer positioning this put up upper!
    Come on over and visit my site . Thank you =)

  6. 605332 610816Soon after examine a couple of with the weblog posts on your site now, and I really like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark site list and shall be checking once again soon. Pls try my internet site online as properly and let me know what you think. 542926

  7. 276134 435066I discovered your site site on google and check a couple of your early posts. Preserve inside the top notch operate. I just extra up your Feed to my MSN News Reader. Seeking for toward reading far much more of your stuff afterwards! 27537

  8. 193506 482396This really is a nice blog i ought to say, generally i don????t post comments on other people???? blogs but would like to say that this post really forced me to do so! 858993

  9. 471320 491386Hello! I would wish to supply a large thumbs up for your excellent info you can have here about this post. Ill be coming back to your weblog web site for further soon. 122862

  10. Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and help others like you aided me.

  11. 353792 488685Hi there, just became alert to your blog via Google, and found that it is truly informative. Im gonna watch out for brussels. Ill be grateful should you continue this in future. Lots of folks will be benefited from your writing. Cheers! 874953


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here