How to Get Past Your Self Critic: Give Yourself Permission

vulnerability- brene brown

One of the greatest lessons I learned at the Daring Way (TM) facilitator training last week was about self compassion.  Since coming home and putting together my own groups and trainings in Portland I have kept one simple practice alive.  This tiny action has boosted my happiness, confidence (and shame resilience) already and I hope it will yours too!

Often the voices in our heads are the most unkind around.  These voices say things like:

“be cool”

“you’re not smart enough”

“don’t take up so much space”

“who do you think you are?”

“you aren’t as smart as everyone else here” 

“you’re not special”

“you aren’t professional enough”

It’s so very common to have visits form these voices and all too common to let them keep us from reaching our fullest potential as partners, business leaders, parents, and friends.  Imagine what you would do if you stopped listening to these voices.

Start noticing when and where they show up most in your life.  My guess is they come for a visit when you are about to do something risky, new, and/or exciting.  Maybe you are nervous.  Maybe you need support.  You might be afraid your idea or project will fail.  Or that you will look stupid.  Or both.

“When failure is not an option innovation is not an option.” – Brene’ Brown 

Too many of us allow these voices to hold us back.  One way to get past them is to give yourself permission to fail.  Allow yourself space to be uncool.  Embrace the possibility that you do not know- you can’t be the expert.  Give yourself room to be the thing you fear.

Then write it in a permission slip.  No, seriously, grab a post-it note and write yourself a permission slip.  We did this every day at the Daring Way (TM) to give ourselves more room to grow.  Here’s my favorite:



Give yourself permission and get some space to be the best you possible.

You can use permission slips to start your day, or just when you need them.  They can help you get clear and get spacious before moving into stressful territory.  Keep them in your pocket, purse or wallet.  Try it this week and let me know how it goes in the comments section!

If you are interested in joining me for a Daring Way group or workshop in Portland, OR this spring let me know- I would love to have you join us!

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