How to tell when you’re independent

As I sat down to peck out today’s blogpost, two concepts/quotes kept swimming to the fore:

“To thine own self be true.” – Wm. Shakespeare from Hamlet


“I wanna tell you a little secret, being ‘The One’ is just like being in love. No one needs to tell you you are in love, you just know it, through and through.”- The Oracle from The Matrix

From these, I draw a couple of conclusions. The first is that we cannot be something we do not recognize or honor within ourselves. We are but one Being in a sea of Others. Spending our days immersed in the stream of life, we must operate within society as a moving, living, breathing component.

That said, we MUST retain our autonomy and sense of self in order to contribute fully to society.

In an analogy I use quite often with myself when presented with a choice, I ask myself, “Can you live with yourself if you make this decision?” Because it’s true: of the billions of people now walking the planet, you are the only person who is going to be with you for the rest of your life. Can you sleep at night after making your decisions? Can you look yourself in the mirror?

If you can’t, you are not independent. You are tethered to regret or some other emotion that keeps you from it. Do the work to figure out why (ie. make amends, release a debt, forgive someone) and take another look in the mirror. Repeat as necessary.

Secondly, being independent just ‘is.’ You either are or you’re not. I can’t tell you if you are; you just are. Being independent, in a large sense, is a matter of perception. It’s in the mind. Once anchored there, you may build upon it to create external independence, but you cannot create it without the perception existing first.

Continuing, to use Morpheus’ quote from the Matrix, “There is a difference between knowing The Path and walking The Path.” What’s really going to bake your noodle is that it’s difficult to discern just exactly when you move from one plane to another.

One day, you go from stocking up on self-help books, collecting quotes scribbled on sticky notes mounted to your bathroom mirror and affirmations to one day just *doing.*

At the risk of using just one more movie reference, if you’ve seen Forrest Gump’s face as he realizes that he’s running without his braces on? THAT’S what being independent is. You are trucking along, when all of a sudden you look down and realize, “Holy crap! I’m doing this!”

Trust yourself. Move from faith to action. It will happen.

Molly Cantrell-Kraig is a woman with drive. Possessing an innate sense of purpose and a pragmatic, solution-based approach to empowering people, she fused these two traits in order to establish Women With Drive Foundation. Based upon its founder’s personal history, Women With Drive Foundation is a means through which Cantrell-Kraig may effect change on both a micro and macro level. By providing women with something as essential as personal transportation in order to transition them from poverty to prosperity, she, through Women With Drive Foundation, seeks to empower women to help them help themselves. Follow Molly on twitter as @mckra1g or @WWDr1ve (Women With Drive Foundation) or like them on facebook.


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