How Treating Yourself as a Friend Will Make You a More Effective Leader

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We live in a paradoxical culture. More and more, we hear messages of self-acceptance and body positivity. Yet we’re also extremely hard on ourselves. It’s all well and good not to cringe when you look in the mirror. But that stroke of positive psychology is offset by our grueling internal standards.

While it’s true we hear less commentary on how we should look or what types of wives we should be, we’re now told to achieve more in other areas of our lives. We’re supposed to be successful executives, Pinterest-perfect mothers, cheerful volunteers, and side-hustling entrepreneurs all at the same time.

Calgon, take me away.

While it’s great to hear we can be all things, there’s a dark side to this message. We feel that we must be all things to all people, and we tell ourselves we’re failures if we fall short. We can be harsh in our inner dialogues.

“Suck it up. Pull yourself together. Stop complaining — you’re not that tired.”

Never in our lives would we speak to our girlfriends in this way. When they tell us they’re worn out or frightened, we swaddle them in encouragement.

“Take a break. Come over, we’ll order dinner and have a glass of wine.”

When is the last time we treated ourselves like a friend? I ask this question seriously, because I believe being a friend to ourselves is the key to lasting success.

Will You Be Your Own Friend or Foe?

Looking back, I see so many instances when I was the furthest thing from a friend to myself. I criticized everything, from my appearance to my relationships to my work ethic. Nothing about me measured up — to me, anyway. Compassionate criticism can be transformative, but that’s not what this was. It was cutting, impatient, and hurtful. And it all came from within.

As I discovered mindfulness and gained a greater awareness of my thoughts, I was shocked at the way I spoke to myself. It became abundantly clear that I needed to stop being so unkind to the woman in the reflection. I chose to accept who I am, warts and all — just as I would a treasured friend.

True self-acceptance is enriching and liberating because it brings us closer to other people. When you treat yourself with kindness, you become more empathetic toward others. You don’t expect impossible standards of yourself, so you extend the same courtesy to those around you. That doesn’t mean you ignore flaws and problems. We all have room to improve; that’s part of the fun of life. But you nurture improvement through kindness and positivity instead of threats and judgment.

Self-Friendship Influences Leadership

Becoming a friend to yourself will help you become a more effective leader because employees respond to bosses who are calm and self-possessed. There’s nothing like witnessing the loyalty and growth that emerge when people feel safe and acknowledged. But you can only cultivate that type of environment when you hold empathy for yourself and those around you.

Here’s how to bring self-friendship into your role as a leader:

1. Acknowledge that change takes time.

You and your team will always strive to be better, but better doesn’t happen overnight. Set intentions as a group, and support one another in your goals by building in realistic timelines and buffers for setbacks. When you acknowledge that change won’t happen instantly, you allow people to be candid about their challenges and to be heard in a compassionate space.

2. Learn from regret, but don’t let it overwhelm you.

No one lives a regret-free life. Likewise, no one has a regret-free career. When you stumble as a leader, acknowledge the mistake. Take your team out to lunch for a debriefing so you can learn from their experiences, too. Then decide how you’ll put those lessons into practice, and let the mistake go.

3. Observe more; judge less.

We are all so quick to judge ourselves and one another, often before we have all the facts. If something goes wrong, resist the urge to make judgments and proclamations. Take in the whole situation; ask questions. Once you have the information to make an assessment, do so kindly. Whether it’s your mistake or someone else’s, always lead with empathy. You can’t be a friend to anyone if criticism and anger are your go-to tactics.

The beautiful thing about self-acceptance isn’t just that it lets you be kinder to yourself in moments of struggle. It frees you to enjoy your accomplishments more as well. When my team and I have a win, we celebrate. Sure, we’re looking for ways we could improve, too. But I want us to bring our whole selves to work, and that includes the occasional self-congratulatory pat on the back.

Embracing our full range of experiences is what makes life meaningful, and being honest about both your triumphs and challenges gives the people around you permission to show up exactly as they are: imperfect, authentic, and complete.

Sona Jepsen is a writer and speaker helping people be so good, they can’t be ignored. She enjoys fixing and growing businesses. Sona is passionate about people and performance with purpose.

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  85. Gráfico aproximado en escalas logarítmicas del coste del mecanizado en función del número de piezas por mecanizar por lote. Algunas de las ventajas del mecanizado CNC incluyen una gran precisión dimensional y muchos materiales compatibles, como madera, metales y plásticos.

  86. Producimos piezas de gran precisión tanto metálicas como no metálicas en aleaciones ligeras (aluminio de alta resistencia, latón, nylon, aceros inoxidables, titanio y aleaciones, etc). J. Incluya cualquier tipo de virus programa que impida el normal funcionamiento del sitio web.

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  91. Contiguo al muro del Panteón Oficial de la Asociación Argentina de Actores, ha ido creciendo -como si de una hiedra se tratase- una mutual anexa de figuras menores del espectáculo. La obra que llega de Broadway tiene fecha de estreno el jueves 9 de abril en el Metropolitan CITI y las entradas ya están a la venta a través de Plateanet bien ingresando al sitio desde donde también se puede acceder a material, información.

  92. Manuel Rodríguez (.) ha afirmado que es la primera huelga general convocada por todos los sindicatos de la mesa sectorial en la historia de la Comunidad de Madrid. La convocatoria de huelga coincide con la de la Asociación de Facultativos Especialistas de Madrid (Afem), cuya asamblea votó la semana pasada a favor de un paro indefinido a partir del 2 de noviembre, de lunes a jueves. CSIT extiende así la convocatoria de huelga para finales de noviembre lanzada el pasado miércoles por los médicos de Madrid , representados en la Asociación de Facultativos Especialistas de Madrid ( Afem ). No se puede amar a España ( a Catalunya) sin estar dedicado al bienestar de la población que constituye tal país (España y/ Catalunya).

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  98. Lo más común que suele hacer que uno de los electrodomésticos de la cocina deje de funcionar están englobados en estas principales razones: – por la cal que se incrusta en las tuberías y núcleo, por la suciedad acumulada (atascos), por rotura de pieza motor, por problemas en el tambor (sólo lavadoras). Dependiendo de cómo es la avería, nuestros técnicos le ofrecen la posibilidad de hacer una reparación les aconsejan comprar un nuevo electrodoméstico.

  99. Y yo le dije no, que el que se iba a buscar la vida era el que ha mi nadie me había dicho en fagor que tenia que darle el precio exacto……. No te jod!!!!!!!! Parece ser que la garantia de asistencia a domocilio solo cubre los primeros seis meses y luego hay que pagarle al tecnico la reparacion de estos nefastos aparatos. Reparación Lavadoras Lavadoras, Secadoras Reparamos su lavadora secadora a domicilio en el día.

  100. Un servicio de urgencia a un precio de no urgencia, que junto con nuestro DESPLAZAMIENTO GRATUITO, hará que su electrodoméstico Bosch, vuelva a funcionar como el primer día al mejor precio posible en Madrid. Deje que le ayudemos, y confie en nuestra experiencia, como miles de clientes ya lo han hecho en toda la provincia de Madrid, tanto en Madrid capital como en cualquier población de Madrid.

  101. Desde hace unos cuantos meses, es bastante habitual ver webs que permiten enviar el número IMEI de un iPhone bloqueado por una operadora para su liberación. Lamentablemente, si me creo que trabaje para FNAC, comparte rasgos de personalidad con uno de los empleados con los que he tenido que tratar en el servicio de postventa de la tienda de la Castellana. El trato que he recibido en el servicio de postventa de FNAC es la peor experiencia que yo he tenido jamás como consumidor. No me sorprendería que los vendedores de crack en el Bronx tuvieran políticas de devolución más razonables que FNAC. Tras una visita a la tienda y un par de llamadas a su (de 15 euros de nada) conseguí un número de autorización” para tramitar la devolución en una de sus tiendas (comentar sobre esto en condiciones sería otra entrada en el blog).

  102. Vaillant es una de las empresas líder en España en sistemas de calefacción y suministro de agua caliente sanitaria. Están construidos con tecnología punta y cuidadosamente diseñados, proporcionan agua caliente de forma rápida y eficaz en el hogar. Todas ellas pueden ser arregladas a la perfección y sin ningún tipo de problema por nuestros especialistas en Madrid y Valencia. Cuando nos llame, concretaremos la hora para mandarle a un técnico a domicilio para que realice la reparación cuanto antes.

  103. Este epígrafe comprende la producción de retratos fotográficos, la producción de fotografías comerciales, los servicios de fotografía técnica, los servicios de revelado, impresión y ampliación de fotografías, así como los servicios combinados de vídeo y fotografía. Epígrafe 982.4.- Otras atracciones, comercio al por menor y servicios de restauración propios de ferias y verbenas, fuera de establecimiento permanente. Servicio técnico de calderas de todas las marcas y modelos, trabaja en toda la comunidad de Madrid.

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  105. Todo un extenso conjunto de posibilidades por un costo económico a través de nuestro servicio técnico Bosch Vilassar de Dalt. Todo un extenso conjunto de posibilidades por un costo económico a través de nuestro servicio técnico Bosch Vilassar de Mar. Todo un extenso conjunto de posibilidades por un costo económico a través de nuestro servicio técnico Bosch Torelló. Todo un extenso conjunto de posibilidades por un costo económico a través de nuestro servicio técnico Bosch Vallirana. Todo un extenso conjunto de posibilidades por un costo económico a través de nuestro servicio técnico Bosch Vic. Todo un extenso conjunto de posibilidades por un costo económico a través de nuestro servicio técnico Bosch Viladecans.

  106. Recuerde que nuestro Servicio Tecnico Bosch en Cerdanyola del Valles ofrece mantenimientos, reparaciones y todo lo relacionado al cuidado de sus electrodomésticos. Los técnicos de servicio llegan a su domicilio con los repuestos originales para la reparación y aumentar la posibilidad de la reparar su aparato en una sola visita. Una marca líder como Bosch siempre ha de contar con una asistencia técnica de primerísima calidad. Para contactar con el servicio oficial al cliente Bosch debes llamar al 245 255 ó al 97 305 713.

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  110. Le garantizamos un trato serio y profesional con un coste minimo para su reparacion de su frigorificos Balay. Nos tomamos muy en serio la reparación de su Frigorificos Liebherr, somos serios con nuestro trabajo porque lo respetamos a él y a usted. Por ello estamos permanentemente actualizándonos y renovándonos para perfeccionar nuestro servicio técnico y ofrecer la más excelente solución a su Frigorificos Liebherr.

  111. Encuentra una selección de los mejores hoteles en Madrid a los mejores precios. Una tienda En línea de recambios de electrodomésticos INDESIT se halla libre a fin de que pueda lograr arreglar su electrodoméstico en caso que no quiera llamar a su servicio técnico oficial. Solamente debe localizar su modelo exacto y podrá visualizar todos y cada uno de ellos de los repuestos de su electrodoméstico. Operarios especializados le proponen la reparación de cualquier electrodoméstico Bosch, tanto en empresas de hostelería como en viviendas particulares.

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