Believe it or not, if a successful woman travels for work, sometimes this can be a deal breaker in her romantic relationship, especially when she’s married. I write about this in my new book, ‘When Mars Women Date,’ looking at how many more women still relocate for men’s jobs than the other way around and how most women travel less when they get married, due to childcare and domestic responsibilities.
In a recent It’s Just Lunch Survey (Feb 6, 2013), when singles were asked, “Does the amount that a partner travels for business affect your willingness to pursue a relationship?” both genders selected the same first place answer, “I am busy myself, so if a partner is gone for a week at a time, I am okay with that!” 34% of women chose that answer and 28% of men did. The second place answer, “No, a partner on frequent business related trips does not bother me,” was almost equal for both men (27%) and women (26%).
In contrast, the answer, “Yes, I prefer potential partners to be more accessible,” was the choice of 23% of men but was selected by only 13% of the women.
Still, this reveals great progress. It points to the fact that gender roles and work/life balance is shifting in our romantic relationships.
But this still is not the advice of most dating authors and experts. For example, I read Steve Harvey’s dating book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Man where he tells single women that if a woman is working overseas and she is letting her man run the house and take care of the kids, plenty of men would cheat and justify it because they’re exhausted and stressed.
So, what does that say to the career women who travels for her work? What would men think if their wives cheated on them every time they were on a work trip? Let’s assume that most men have a stronger sex drive than women for the moment, does that mean that once they have committed to her, they can’t control it? This intimates that a successful career woman should not leave town lest her man misses a few nights of sex and leaves her!
This is why I was happy to read in this survey that men are becoming increasingly okay with women’s travel for work (at least while dating). This is something that needs to occur for women to succeed with their career goals and for relationships to become mutually supportive and whole.
Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a psychologist who specializes in helping successful career women date and form healthy partnerships. She does psychotherapy and dating phone coaching and can be reached via email at email@example.com. She’s the author of ‘Dating from the Inside Out’ and ‘When Mars Women Date: How Career Women Can Love Themselves into the Relationship of their Dreams.’ She hosts a community of single career women at: www.whenmarswomendate.com