One of my least favorite words in the English language is “just”

One of my least favorite words in the English language is “just”. Uttered by well-meaning people (me included) it implies an easy answer to a complex situation. Whether you’re trying solve a work or personal issue, everyone seems to have the right answer. It’s as if having a problem is somehow a problem. I know I’m a tad bit oversensitive, but when someone swoops in with “just” I tend to bristle and fumble even more.

So how do you find compassion for yourself and others in our over-simplified culture? How do you avoid the “victim” trap and make meaningful strides towards health and happiness? These are the truths I remember when it seems like everyone else gets it and I don’t.

– Every problem is a learning experience. The more we learn, the better our life gets.

– Listen to the advice, ignore the “just” and recognize someone’s insight usually comes from hard won experience.

– Even the most together people have secrets. The more someone really knows about a topic, the more they’ve struggled with it themselves.

– When someone gives advice, it’s as if they’re sharing their deepest secrets about themselves. Their own insecurities, their past problems and their current challenges. Criticism is less about YOU and more about them. Like a window into their soul.

-Your current problem may look just like a past problem. The difference is, you know more than you did before. Learning and changing your life takes experience after experience and you can never TRULY repeat your past so take comfort that you’re in process.

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