When trudging through the game of life you will come across a variety of people, some will come to be known as polite strangers, some will stick in your mind as being rude and insensitive, and some will stick with you in some kind of relationship whether it be acquaintances, coworkers, friendships, or even a romantic relationship. In any situation that you meet someone, and have a discussion, the first impression they leave you with will stick in your mind, and the further you get to know them, you could describe their personal
likability to someone else. How do you think someone would describe you to another person? Are you likable? Do you want to be? There are some traits that surely you are born with that make you likable (good looks, voice, height and body type, etc…) but there are other habits you can pick up that will leave a favorable impression – other people will like you. Adopting habits that can up your likeability can be especially important when you are interviewing for a new job, attracting clients, or garnering a promotion.
Likability Habit #1: Warmth and Kindness
In a 2002 study, people described this trait as one of the top 3 when it comes to relationships (friendships and romantically). This is one of those habits you hope to exemplify without being insincere or going overboard. I always try to think of “small acts of kindness.” A little really does go a long way – giving a sincere compliment, showing interest in what the other person is talking about, and by generally always doing the right thing will be a good place to start to pick up this habit.
Likability Habit #2: Expressiveness and Openness
This habit also ranked in the top 3 of the study mentioned above. How do you be expressive? Actually listening to what another person is saying is the first step – then you can respond in an appropriate and insightful way. Being open to what someone is saying is also a trait that will make you likable.
Likability Habit #3: Sense of Humor
The third top trait people ranked as being important in relationships is their sense of humor. You have to admit, laughing feels great. A likable person doesn’t necessarily have to be funny, they just have to find things funny and be able to laugh.
Likability Habit #4: Sincerity
To say things and actually mean them?? Yes, you can do this. Try not to be a phony and say what you think people want to hear. Instead be sincere, honest and open in your conversation. Mean what you say and say what you mean.
Likability Habit #5: Inquisitive
Ask the other person questions – not with an interrogation style, with a friendly style. People like talking about themselves – ask questions about their life without being too personal. Something as simple as, “What do you think about this…(movie, book, food… etc)?” will open you up to a whole plethora of things to talk about.
Likability Habit #6: Capacity for Understanding
Having the ability to understand things is going to be important for remembering what that person said or did. When you understand, you can relate to whatever is going on, then you are better able to communicate. People will find you more likable if you understand them.
Likability Habit #7: Don’t Pass Judgment
Judging someone will only close your mind to what they are saying and doing and we already know openness is important to most people when it comes to relationships. Keep an open mind about everyone you meet and truly get to know them.
Likability Habit #8: Friendly and Considerate
Sometimes going out of your way to be friendly and considerate can make your day even better. Send out good vibes – always.
Likability Habit #9: Consistent
Are you that friend that is always running late? Or cancels plans? People who are consistent in life and in doing what they say are more likable than people who don’t. No one wants to be treated like they are unimportant. Be consistent and show them they are important. This will also build on your trustworthiness – which this study shows is of the extreme importance for people.
Likability Habit #10: Know When to Open Up
It’s important to let people get to know you, but that doesn’t mean letting them learn every minute detail about your life, especially the spill-your-guts kind of details. Save those for people who are already loyal to you. Letting out too much information before your really know someone can make you seem slightly neurotic.
Likability Habit #11: Greet People by Name
It makes them feel good. It will make you more likable.
Likability Habit #12: Positive Mental Attitude
Positivity is a much desired trait everywhere in life – the workforce, friendships, romantic relationships. Take a different outlook on something if you are feeling negative about it – try seeing the positives and speaking about the positives.
Likability Habit #13: Maintain Composure
Yes, you should always appear calm and at ease even if your blood is boiling on the inside. It will make you much more likable, and you will get more out of every situation.
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