Sex after having a baby is probably not at the top of your to-do list. Being a new mom is all-consuming, and your entire world now revolves around one tiny newborn. Motherhood is a joyous time in your life, but it does not come without its challenges. A few challenges include lack of sleep and postpartum depression. It is easy to get caught up in the 24/7 demands of caring for your new baby.
Perhaps having sex after pregnancy is not a priority because you’re busy with changing diapers, feeding your baby around the clock, and making sure you have everything you’ve been told you need for your new baby! For a list of items you don’t need, click here.
Although this is a wonderful time in your life, it can also be stressful.
When is it ok to begin having sex after having a baby?
Most healthcare professionals recommend waiting 4 to 6 weeks before engaging in sexual intercourse following the birth of your baby. Sex after a C-section should not happen for at least six weeks, and you may wait until you get the all-clear from your doctor during your follow-up visit.
You should postpone sex after pregnancy for a minimum of two weeks (besides who would have the stamina). You are still at risk for hemorrhaging and contracting a uterine infection.
Your body needs time to heal, so make sure that not only do you get the go-ahead from your physician but that you feel ready emotionally and physically to begin having sex after having a baby.
During the first six weeks of life with a newborn, you are more than likely going to feel utterly exhausted, a little sore, and a bit overwhelmed. Being able to talk to your partner about your feelings and your physical condition will help. Partners tend to feel left out when all of your attention is going to your new baby, especially if you are breastfeeding.
Reasons why you may not want to have Sex after Having a Baby include:
- It is not uncommon for a woman’s libido or sexual drive to be lower for a few weeks or even months following pregnancy.
- You may feel less attractive, and a bit depressed about your body as you may have a possible C-section scar, weight gain, and a few new stretch marks.
- Shear fatigue combined with the fear of getting pregnant again may stymie your sexual desire.
- You may be experiencing some baby blues or postpartum depression that may make you feel sad, anxious, hopeless or irritable.
- Maybe you are worried that sex after having a baby will be painful.
- You may experience less vaginal lubrication due to decreased levels of the estrogen hormone (this is especially true if you are breastfeeding).
Tips to Begin Having Sex After Having A Baby
- Take it slow and easy. Keep the lines of communication honest with your partner about how your body is recovering. If your breasts are tender from breastfeeding, then let them know that your boobs are temporarily off limits.
- If you are not ready for full-blown intercourse, try manual stimulation, oral sex, or an erotic massage to feel close to your partner.
- Experiment with different sexual positions that will allow you to have more control over the depth of the penetration.
- Sex after a C-section can be done by lying side by side, so there is no pressure on your wound.
- If you are experiencing dryness, use a lubricant to make sex more pleasurable.
Most sexual issues resolve themselves within the first year after having a baby. It is important for you to be patient with your body following childbirth. Try to embrace the new changes as a part of motherhood.
Sex after having a baby will happen when both of you are ready. To keep the intimacy alive, try kissing, hugging, holding hands, cuddling on the sofa or giving each other a foot or neck rub. For other ways to reconnect with your partner, click here.
Both of you will need to be realistic and accept the fact that you may not be having sex as much as you did before you became full-time parents. Moreover, you may need to get over the unromantic notion of scheduled sex, and put it on the calendar.