The Victim Blame Game

Can a 13-year old really decide to have consentual sex?

On the heels of Serena Williams’ insensitive comments blaming the sexual assault victim in the Steubenville, OH rape case comes another public attack of victims… this time from a defense attorney in Madison County, IN. A 17-year old male plead guilty this week to molesting three teenage girls, one of whom was 13-years old at the time and for whom doctors plan to induce labor today to deliver her molester’s child.

One can argue both sides of the probation penalty for the molester, but to add insult to injury, the defense attorney’s comments to the Indianapolis Star have outraged many, including Toby Stark, executive director for Chaucie’s Place Child Advocacy Center in Carmel, IN. According to the Indianapolis Star, Defense Attorney Zaki Ali “argued during the hearing that the victims — although younger than the age of consent under Indiana law — had consented to sex with his client.”

Ali added, ”This case should be a lesson for all children: The decisions you make as teens and preteens can affect you for the rest of your life.”

I think we can all agree that with actions come consequences, some that can last a lifetime. However, to lump these sexual abuse victims in with a now convicted child molester stands as yet another example of society placing blame on the shoulders of victims. This time, blame was assigned to one 13- and two 12-year old victims, whom I would argue (and all U.S. state, Canadian and Central American laws support) are not yet of an age to make an informed, consentual decision about having sex.

I welcome Toby as my first guest blogger. She addresses this issue by sharing an open letter to Mr. Ali about his remarks in this very sad case:

Dear Zaki Ali (attorney for convicted 17 year-old child molester in Elwood, IN):

Did I read correctly? Did I actually read that you were blaming the 12 and 13 year old children for their sexual molestation at the hands of a 17 year old male? Did I really read your words as, “This case should be a lesson for all children: The decisions you make as teens and preteens can affect you for the rest of your life.” AND YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT THE CHILD VICTIMS, NOT THE PERPETRATOR?!?!

Mr. Ali, I dare you to look these children in the eye and say that; to look the hundreds of children who were sexually victimized by Penn State Coach Jerry Sandusky in the eye and say that; every child we read about almost daily who is sexually abused by a teacher, coach, family friend…look them in the eye and say that.

Child sexual abuse is never, ever the victim’s fault. Never. Child sexual abuse, by definition, is the coercion of a child to engage in sexual activity. The World Health Organization reminds us that, “Child sexual abuse is the involvement of a child in sexual activity that he or she does not fully comprehend, is unable to give informed consent to, or for which the child is not developmentally prepared and cannot give consent, or that violates the laws or social taboos of society.”

Blaming the victim is totally and completely unacceptable, and society…our society…our community should not accept it. Everyone is entitled to a fair trial, but to blame the victim?!? Oh no, Mr. Ali, we will not accept that as a defense. One in four girls and one in six boys are sexually abused by their 18th birthday…these children will not accept that as a defense. Ninety percent of these children are abused by someone they know, love and trust…their protectors will not accept this as a defense.

Please take the time to educate yourself on this epidemic, Mr. Ali, and never, ever blame the victim again.

Toby Stark, Executive Director, Chaucie’s Place

Each of us can help stop this epidemic by making a collective, unified stand to support victims of sexual assault and abuse rather than using language that makes them feel like they did something wrong. Blame should instead by placed squarely at the feet of sexual predators and offenders… right where it belongs.

Chaucie’s Place is a nonprofit Child Advocacy Center, located in Carmel, IN that focuses on child sexual abuse prevention. To learn how you can help, visit Chaucie’s Place at

An impassioned child advocate, trainer, speaker and child forensic interviewer, Ginger’s life mission is to raise awareness of the world-wide epidemic of child abuse. To learn more, see

Add a Blog


  1. Hmm, it seems like your own site ate my initial comment (it was really long) so I suppose I’ll just sum that up the things we had written and point out, I’m thoroughly enjoying your current blog. I as nicely is an aspiring blog page writer, but I’m even now new to the complete thing. Do you possess any tips for newbie blog copy writers? I’d appreciate it.

  2. I do not know whether it’s just me or if perhaps everyone else encountering issues with your site.
    It appears like some of the text within your posts are running
    off the screen. Can someone else please provide feedback and let me
    know if this is happening to them as well? This could be
    a problem with my browser because I’ve had this happen previously.

  3. We and my buddies were going via the nice, helpful suggestions by the blog then typically the sudden came up along with an awful suspicion We never expressed respect for the website owner for individuals secrets.

  4. I simply desired to thank you thus much again. I feel not sure the issues that I would have got gone through without the particular form of hints revealed simply by you regarding that circumstance.

  5. Parish said within a club statement that staff members would not be located on statutory sick pay out “for medical issues relating to help Covid-19”.

  6. I enjoy that which you guys are usually upwards too. This sort regarding clever work and insurance coverage! Keep up the amazing works guys I’ve included you guys to the blogroll.

  7. These types of compliments can turn out to be problematic like complimenting look can come around because flirting, and so these people must be avoided in numerous company together with social situations.

  8. I enjoy that which you guys are usually way up too. This sort involving clever work and protection! Keep up the fantastic works guys I’ve additional you guys to my personal blogroll.

  9. Does your website have a contact site? I’m having problems tracking down it but, I’d such as to shoot you the email. I’ve got a few recommendations for your blog page you will be interested in ability to hear.

  10. Hello, there. I understand this particular is off-topic, but I had been wondering which blog program are you using regarding this site? I’m having fed up of Wp because I’ve had troubles with hackers and Now i’m looking at options intended for another platform. I would likely be fantastic in case you can point me to some sort of good platform.

  11. como ganhar na lotofacil, acertar na lotofacil, ganhar na lotofacil, como ganhar na lotofacil de verdade, como ganhar na lotofacil sempre, como ganhar na lotofacil 2020, como ganhar na lotofacil 100 garantido, dicas lotofacil, como acertar na lotofacil, dicas para ganhar na lotofacil

  12. I was curious if you happen to considered changing the structure of the site? Its really well written; I enjoy what you’ve got in order to say. But maybe a person could a little extra in the form of content so men and women could connect with that better. You have got an terrible lot of text with regard to only having one or perhaps 2 pictures. You may space it out far better?

  13. Please let me understand if you’re searching for a great author for your web site. You could have some great articles, and I think We would be a good resource. If you happen to want to consider some of the fill off, I’d like to be able to write some material regarding your blog in trade for any link back to be able to mine. Please shoot myself an email if serious. Thanks.

  14. Wow, superb blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging see easy. The overall see of your site is excellent.Thanks a lot for the informative and well-researched content.

  15. I simply wished to thank you consequently much again. I was not sure the items that I would have got gone through without the particular form of hints revealed by simply you regarding that condition.

  16. I would love to be the part of group exactly where I can get suggestions from all other experienced people that will share the identical interest. When you have any suggestions, please let me realize. Thank you.

  17. Hi there We are so thrilled I discovered your website, I definitely found you by oversight, while I was searching Yahoo for something more, Anyhow I am below now and would merely like to say thanks a ton for a tremendous blog post and an all circular exciting blog (I in addition love the theme/design), I actually don’t have time to be able to undergo it all from the minute but We have saved it and in addition added in your RSS OR ATOM feeds, then when I possess time I will get returning to read more, Make sure you do continue the great job.

  18. Your good knowledge and even kindness in using just about all the pieces were very helpful. I don’t know precisely what I could have done in the event that I had not experienced such a step such as this.

  19. Thanks intended for one marvelous posting! My partner and i enjoyed reading it; an individual are an excellent author. My partner and i will make sure in order to bookmark your blog plus may come back sooner or later. I want to motivate that you continue your own great posts, have a very good saturday and sunday!

  20. My brother recommended I might like this blog. He was
    totally right. This post truly made my day. You cann’t imagine just how much time I had spent for this info!

  21. I have been surfing online more than 4 hours today, yet
    I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It is pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all webmasters
    and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be much more useful than ever before.

  22. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was wondering what all
    is required to get set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours
    would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very web savvy so I’m not 100% certain. Any suggestions or advice would be
    greatly appreciated. Thanks

  23. Today, I went to the beach front with my kids.
    I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed.
    There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
    She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!

  24. It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d definitely donate to this excellent blog!

    I suppose for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account.

    I look forward to new updates and will share this blog with my Facebook group.

    Chat soon!

  25. An interesting discussion is worth comment. I do believe
    that you ought to publish more about this topic, it
    may not be a taboo matter but usually folks don’t speak about these subjects.
    To the next! All the best!!

  26. Thanks a bunch for sharing this with all of us you really know what you are talking about! Bookmarked. Please also visit my site =). We could have a link exchange arrangement between us!

  27. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!

  28. You really make it appear so easy with your presentation but I in finding this matter to be really something that I feel I would by no means understand. It sort of feels too complex and extremely large for me. I am taking a look forward on your next submit, I will try to get the dangle of it!

  29. 567254 215735In case you happen to significant fortunate individuals forms, referring by natural means, moreover you catch the attention of some sort of envy in consideration of those types the other campers surrounding you which have tough times about this topic. awnings 621161

  30. 971572 480304Aw, this was a extremely good post. In concept I wish to put in writing like this moreover ?taking time and precise effort to make an excellent article?but what can I say?I procrastinate alot and surely not appear to get 1 thing done. 908813


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here