Ask yourself this question:
“What do I stand for in life?” If I were to ask your friends and family to tell me the three things you represent in life, what would they say?
What do you want to be remembered for, how are you going to leave your dent in the Universe?
If you are having problems answering these questions, really sit down and give yourself some time to think through what is important to you in life. Because, if you don’t know your values, you will never know if you are meeting them or not. You will never know if you are compromising them in any way. Not knowing may create stress and tension in your life without you being able to identify where that stress or tension is coming from.
Our values are different to our beliefs. Beliefs tend to arise more from our upbringing and the people around us as we are growing into adulthood. Values are the things that we are born with that are unique to us and dictate the decisions we make in life. All decisions, however large or small. At some point, our values will have an impact on our life choices, our personal mantra and our professional decisions.
To become a really powerful woman in business and be the magnet others want to follow, it is crucial that you are fully grounded in the strong foundations of your values. Your values allow you stand firm when all around you are trying to persuade you otherwise, your values enable you to make qualified decisions and choices in life that benefit you and those around you. Your values will ensure that when you look back on your life, you will have as few “If only” thoughts as possible.
Your values underpin all your communications, whether these are face to face or written, with friends, family and colleagues. Once people are clear on their values, it becomes effortless for them to step into their assertive center. Within that center, it is almost impossible to be derailed. Being clear on values creates an invisible shield around you that no-one can penetrate however hard they try.
In today’s 21st century living, it is easy to get caught up with the thoughts of ‘ownership’ of ‘stuff’. In actual fact, we own nothing tangible in this life. We simply have temporary custody of certain items. That includes our homes, our cars, our clothes, even the money in our Bank Accounts or wallets. The only thing any person actually owns are their values. And these are the very things that no-one can take away from you, they define who you are as a woman in the world. We all come into this world the same way, and we all go out the same way. The title that appears on anyone’s Business Card at any given time does not in any way define who they are as human beings. The only thing that sets people apart from others are their values, how they treat others and what they represent in this lifetime.
Ensure you know your values, ensure you live by them everyday and allow them to influence all your decisions.
If you are unsure what your values in life are, try doing the following exercise. Project yourself into your future to when you are in your late 80’s or early 90’s in age. You are sitting in your garden and reflecting on your life. As you look back over the years, ask yourself the following questions:
I was ‘in flow’ in my life when I was doing …
I was my most joyful self when I was …
The things that made me most angry were …
The times I felt most confident and at ease were when I
The times I felt most ill at ease and uncomfortable were
When I forgot about time completely and lived totally in
the present moment, I was doing …
When time dragged and I felt sluggish and stuck, I was …
My relationships with other people worked best when I was …
My most challenging relationships were when I was with
people who were …..
When my body was at its optimum health in every way,
physically and emotionally, I was …
I suffered the most aches, headaches, strains and discomfort
in my body was when I ….
Learn to trust your body, it knows everything you need to know about how you are living your life. You simply have to stop and be still long enough to hear the messages. Your body will let you know when you are living by your values and when you are compromising those values. Get to know how your body responds to joyful and stressful situations and tune in on a regular basis.
See if you can come up with your three top values and, if it helps, write them down and carry them with you. Make them joyful to look at, use colour and images where appropriate, laminate them on card so you can carry them with you without fear of damage. Glance at them every day before you walk out of your front door. Read them when people are challenging you.
Never forget who you are. Always remember you are unique. A truly special person, there is no-one else exactly like you. Your values are yours and yours alone, no-one can influence them, take them away from you or jeopardise how you live if you stick to them and live them every day.